Oh, bitch.

As a female, I'm very aware of how catty and petty bitches can be.

I'm not aware of how people perceive me, I'm too consumed with how I'm perceiving myself. Idk what vibe I give off or how I look to others. But it's always some type of hostility or secret animosity with females. Not every female, but majority of my life it's always bitches that really can't stand me but try to be my friend.. I guess I missed the Girly memo that we could hate each other but still be friends cause I was outside playing manhunt with the boys. But I don't get that.

I never understood jealousy. My mother always embedded in me that I never need to be jealous of anybody or anything they possess because just like they're who they are, look how they look, have what they have .. I am who I am, I look like this, I have what I have.. no one is like me. Same way no one is like them. She made sure I understood every one is different. And god blesses us in different ways to accommodate how special each of us are. To envy someone because of how God blesses them is wrong, you don't know what that person goes/went through. But apparently not everybody understands that.

Females are veryyyyy spiteful and competitive and it's like for what? To feed your insecurities? To gain a mans attention? A combination of both? Idk. Shit is just not cool. That catty shit isn't for me. I guess that's why I never really surrounded myself with a bunch of females.. It's really inevitable. The gossiping, back stabbing, spiteful envious behaviors .. Miss me with all that.

What really kills me is people swear I think I'm all that and it's wtf? I think I'm all that because....? You get the urge to speak to me and you feel it's taking me too long to approach you? Bitch say something then, if you wanna speak don't wait on me. I do keep to myself alot and that's because I'm always thinking and trying to figure things out. But I always speak when I'm spoken to.. And I'm always cordial. So what's really the problem?

And here's the thing. If I can tell you don't like me, I won't try to gain your approval. I don't give a fuckkkk (smokey voice) but don't be mad at me because I see through your phony smiles and choose to just keep it cordial and cut the corny shit. No need to be overly friendly. Bitch please.

Oh and there's the bitches that really down talk you when you're brought up to include herself in the conversation .. Oh you mad because I don't gotta be present and I'm brought up anyway? Oh, bitch.

See, I guess because I don't praise myself publicly or boast people tend to put me on a secret pedestal (some not so secretly) and often speak very highly of me when I'm not around of course.. And I guess it might get annoying for some after awhile, to keep hearing the same comments about me from different people and you're barely even looked at and you been trying so hard to get noticed.. That seems upsetting. I get that. But don't try to throw me under the bus or downplay me because you feeling intimidated. Don't compare us, we're not the same. Don't upset yourself at things that are outta your control. And I'm one of those things. I think to even compare yourself to someone like you're in a competition is stupid if you're not competing for something. And don't ever think we're competing for something because I only compete with myself. Even if there's said competition.. I'm my biggest rival.


That shit is corny. Instead of focusing on you and your own battles you wanna create imaginary ones with me, you won't even win those .. All you doing is losing time you could never get back and worrying about me, who I can guarantee isn't worried about you. Get it together.

Worry about yourself. Damn.