Back in the day, Wayyyy back. You were a wife first .. Then came motherhood. You couldn't be a mother without being a wife. And should a woman bare a child with no husband she was looked at as a whore. A Jezebel, out casted by her family and friends. How dare you bring a child into this world without being married. What were you doing fucking and you're not married? .. That was then.
Now, 2013 there are way more mothers than there are wives. Sad but true. I only say sad because as little girls, you wished marriage and family .. Not raising kids alone. But times have changed..
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, Out of 12.2 million single parent families in 2012, more than 80% were headed by single mothers.
A mother is one who nurtures, loves and guide her offsprings into life.. A mother's job is never done. No matter how old your kids are, you're their mother. Now I'm not a mother.. Yet. But being a female and having been raised by my mother, seeing mothers throughout my life; I have a certain standards I place on mothers. How I feel mothers should be. How I feel I'm going to be when I'm a mother. There's no exact right or wrong way to raise a child.. Well there are wrong ways. But you know what I mean.
I feel some women have babies for the wrong reasons, some to be spiteful, some because they want to prove they can when deep inside they know they can't, some because they feel they've reached their limit at the chop shop (abortion clinic). Whatever the reason may be, once the child is born.. Shit is real. And many do it on their own. Some struggle, some don't. Depending on how much help is given to them.
The father plays a huge part whether or not one wants to acknowledge it. If our creator really wanted us to raise kids alone we'd be asexual. I don't think anyone should raise a child alone. I mean if you have to, then you have too but I think kids are a handful and having both parents equally playing their part in a positive way really is key.
I'm ti(red) of hearing about these "ain't shit niggas" and how many deadbeats are around. But that's the mothers fault. Why? "Omg how can you say that" fuck that. It is. I'm not laying down and allowing a man who I think isn't worth shit fuck me.. let alone raw, why are you settling for these ain't shit niggas anyway? Why would you play pregnant roulette with a man who you can't even get to commit to you? You know he ain't shit. You know he's no good but yet your simple ass laid down and took all his kids inside you and yelled recess... Now, to be fair some women get conned. Their man plays this perfect role for them and once they announce their pregnant they see the perfect man illusion they had crumble and see him for who he really is, by then it's too late. I understand. Shit happens. Do better research on your men ladies. You don't want to be that woman. Find the man that will be the best father ever not the man who you think you love and he doesn't even like kids. Don't play yourself, pick your plays and play it right.
But the kid is here now. And I see too many girls with babies. I say girls because women handle their responsibilities and girls with babies don't, they push their kids on their family abusing the help that's offe(red) to them. Some of them only kept the baby so the father could stay and now that he didn't.. They don't want anything to do with the baby. But of course you won't know any of this because all the social networks show something different (some bitches spend more time taking pictures with their kids than they actually do raising them.) the mothers are getting younger and younger and the grandparents become the parents. And that's not right. Bitches out here running wild chasing niggas down, partying it up and they can't even tell you what did their child learn from school. Shit some of them don't even teach their kids how to read or write, or speak properly or manners. It's sickening. For that you should've just gotten an abortion or conside(red) adoption. I don't get how people don't believe in abortions or shit like that but they don't believe in condoms or birth control either. Some just askin to get pregnant.
To me, once you become a mother you gotta alter your life. It was once about you, but now it's your kid THEN you. Your child should always be your first priority. You have to accommodate your lifestyle to fit your child's needs. Your job isn't to raise them til they're 18 and push them out the door hoping they can fly. Nope. Your job is to prepare them for the real world but allow them to explore things on their own, while you stand aside and step in when you feel they're slipping. That's very different from hovering or smothering. You have to give your child space, space to grow. Your role as a mother plays a big factor in how they grow up. To ensure they are well prepa(red) for the real world is all that should concern you. Despite parents wanting their kids to stay babies forever, they don't. They become adults. You have to help them transition into that. I know the world is scary but sheltering your children isn't the answer. I've seen many people product of shelte(red) environments, its like throwing a baby deer into a cage full of wolves. It's a balance that has to be maste(red) and with each mother-child it varies. But as long as you know your kids as well as you know yourself (hoping you know yourself well) you should be fine.
My mother. I love her to death. I love her so much I don't speak ill of her to anybody but her. Me and her have a different kind of relationship. She may have made mistakes, some in which I've paid for. And despite all her flaws I can never take away that she's my mother. And she's always been my mother. She raised me and my siblings mostly by herself (step-dad got deported when I was 10). She never complained about it she just did what she had to do. I thank her for her life lessons. I really am the way I am today because she always encouraged my curiosity and fed my mind. She taught me how to read or write before I even was enrolled in school. There's so much I thank her for and there's things I hate her for. I wrote her a letter. Won't disclose the details but she read it today and the conversation held after that, is the main reason I love her.
I can wait for motherhood. I'm in no rush. I want to be fully committed to starting a family when I have kids. I am looking forward to that experience though, maybe I'll write my mother another letter.. I heard you understand your mom better when you become one yourself. There's certain things I want to embed in my kids, certain ways I want to raise them.. Things I want to do with them. Everything I wish I ever knew as a kid, my kids will know. They will be twice, if not three times the person I am. Motherhood is a blessing. Despite how you got there or how it happened. It's certainly a blessing to bring life into this world and be apart of raising and co creating a life that will change the world. God bless the mothers of today and the future mothers.
Here's a link for mothers or mothers to be;
Thanks Forbes,
Money lessons for your kids: What they should know by age 5,10 &15 http://t.co/baSNDnrb2k
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