Déjà vu, or dreams come true?

Since I can remember my dreams always meant something to me, especially how real it can feel. I try to replay them as many times in my head until I either figure out what they meant, or I permanently stamped them into my mind for further observation.

Now, as many dreams as I tried to hold on to, many do get lost or forgotten til I'm reminded by some random clue in my everyday life. Which gets me to thinking ..

What's déjà vu?

Definition says feeling of having experienced a situation already.

- doesn't say where you experienced it.

It's believed you experience déjà vu because of past lives we lived.

It's also believed that if you say déjà vu while experiencing it, whatever was going to happen, isn't because you now alte(red) events by saying déjà vu.

But what if déjà vu .. Is just dreams come true?

Now maybe this is just me, Idk .. My grandma is a bruja. But I've had wild regular ass dreams that seem odd in the first place ... To actually fucking happening and I get that déjà vu feeling .. And it'll click, I had a dream about this.
I keep alot of this shit to myself anyway.. But I always keep it documented within myself. Tooo many dreams have come true either exactly how the dream went or better than the dream.

I do believe in reincarnation. I've had flashbacks and its not my life I'm viewing. Gotta be someone I once was. That's how I separate dreams. The ones from my life and the past lives that make guest appearances every now and then. The ones about my life, the people in it, the places I'm at. I pay close attention to.. Your dreams are your subconscious speaking to you anyway, and you become what you think about.. Imagine the subconscious side? That's a stronger force. Those gut feelings are apart of that subconscious as well. People often ignore their instinct and clearly, you know what's best for you. Your mind, body and soul has proven itself time and time again. Just listen.

And next time someone says déjà vu .. . Tell 'em, nope. A dream came true.

Why So Serious?

In my best Joker impression .. RiP Heath Ledger. 

I really don't get it. Nothing is ever personal unless you take it that way .. and if you decide to take it personal, how is that my fault? Why must I get the cold shoulder because you're taking things more personally than originally intended? I can't understand. 

I know I'm a difficult person to deal with, this I am aware of .. I tend to withdraw from society from time to time, its never intentionally .. certainly never personal. I just like to focus on me, I never feel people care that much to begin with. I just move on my own time and I don't feel the need to inform people of my every move .. that's usually what brings distractions. Lord knows I don't need those.

Idk if it's because I understand people need their space that I don't mind when people distant themselves from me, But whenever I do pop up again like shit is regular (because I feel it is), I get cold stares and snide remarks. I guess that's inconsiderate on my behalf .. but my intentions are never to hurt people or make them question my character or motive. Now that I think about this, I think I may have a similar post on this topic (I'll check when I'm done here) But, I guess it will never change. I am progressing as a person but maybe certain qualities are as advanced as they'll be. Accepting that isolated loving part of me is apart of ACCEPTING ME AS A WHOLE. People tend to love alot of your qualities but the few they don't like, they use against you the most. I can't help who I am. 

Can a young bitch live man? you can't tell people lighten up without them taking it even more personally that you didn't take their original statement as serious as they took it in the first place .. and so on ... it's really a hard battle to win. You argue your side you're wrong .. you let it go, you don't care. which one causes less stress? ... exactly.

Why so serious? 

All I want for Christmas ...

As the holidays approach, I can't shake holiday spirit. Thanksgiving is next week and I can't wait. All the good food, drinks and bud to be consumed. After thanksgiving, comes Christmas, I know what I'm getting my siblings, my mom and grandma .. hopefully I can get that out the way quick, After all the events that have happened this year, I'm definitely treating myself to a few gifts. If I don't, who will?

iPad Mini

I love the iPad concept and now even more that it's a tad bit smaller. Perfect fit in all my bags. Of course I want it in black to match my phone. 

Xbox 360 Star Wars edition 

Now, I'm no Star Wars fan .. besides those Family Guy episodes, I never saw a Star Wars movie. Me purchasing my own Xbox is way overdue, so this is a must. Several games I've been wanting to play and I just love the design .. But do you see the controller????\

No seriously, Do you see this shit? this is the MAIN reason I want this. 

Rose Gold Movado Women's Watch

 I love Rose Gold and I need some arm candy.

Celine Winter '12 Trapeze Canvas Bag*

This is a little outta my budget, but I would loveeee this bag in either color. this is more of a wishlist item but eh, fuck it. Who knows, maybe my wish will come true. :) 

High, are you?

I'm just laying here and mentally plotting out the next couple months since things have been going smoothly.

Not as fast as I would like it.

But, progress no matter the speed is still progress indeed. I keep getting all the signs, I really have to go after my dreams ( as many as I can make come true ) and I know I create my future as long as I can control my thoughts. Decluttering myself from negativity wasn't as hard as I thought. If you ignore negativity, it tends to go away. Misery love company and if you're a terrible host they'll find a new one. I never been one to host misery so comfortably so that works.

I gave myself a personal deadline. I won't reveal what is supposed to be done by this deadline but just know that's all I'm thinking of. And since you become what you think about, I'll be where I wanna be in no time right?
.. I hope so. Nah, I know so.
It's only a matter of time. This patience shit is tricky but I'm getting the hang of it. I like to remind myself of what I'm waiting for and that the wait is worth it. I just gotta keep myself busy so it doesn't seem so long once the day gets here.

My social life could use a pick me up. I don't really engage in social scenes, not that I don't like to. I just haven't found the time lately. I've been on my hermit shit. But that should change. The holidays coming up. I'm tryna have fun. As the year comes to an end at a weirdly fast pace .. I'm just happy to be alive. Really. I just want to enjoy my life any way I can for as long as I can. And find ways to enjoy it even more. Pursue all my interests and discover new ones. Meet interesting, fun, positive people who are on their own life journey for eternal peace. (Thats all anyone wants anyway, peace of mind right?) I don't ask for much .. I don't rely on anyone to ensure this happiness for me either, I'm fully capable of pleasing myself like I masturbate. Lol, I know what I want, so no one else will take the credit or blame for my actions. Okay now I'm rambling. Ima finish watching Martin and hope I fall asleep before this high fades. Goodnight you.


"A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes." — Hugh Downs