Hmm... (Relationships)

I'm single in the romantic aspect. As much as I deny it I do get approached often, but rarely ever anyone that catches my eye or my ear or most importantly, my vibe. I've been told I'm picky and my standards are too high and I'm just unrealistic. But .... I really don't think so. I refuse to settle for anything less than what I demand of myself for myself and other people in my life aren't excluded.

I hate getting to know guys for these reasons, they get too open. (And I always think damn there's a girl who really wish he would act this way with her..same way I'm wishing he was someone else acting this way with me) they get open to all the possibilities they see with me and that's understandable. I am pretty awesome lol but I always feel like there's something missing. And whatever's missing is the reason I always let them fade into the background. I have this let them down easy routine down pact. It's hard for me to explain to someone who sees everything in me that I see nothing in them. And no matter how you try to phrase it, it's cold. Rude. Hurtful. Even if its not intended. It will wound some egos. I'm not tryna deal with that. As bitchy as it sounds. I'm not.

Actually, I do like someone, like genuinely like him .. But of course, I have no idea how he feels.. I mean I did .. But I can't say with certainty the feelings are still there. And it's complicated. Like everything else involving me. I think our timing is wrong, or maybe not. Now I'm not one of those females whose life stops the moment I fall for someone and I can't figure out where we're heading, if we're even going somewhere. I just keep it moving. I am a firm believer in "it'll happen if its meant to be" I say what I need to say and keep going. If I'm heard, proof will be printed as time goes on. And if I'm not. Atleast I didn't stop my world.

I'm just as easily turned on as I am easily turned off. I try to explain to men, just being you is enough.. And some still go overboard, trying to impress me is not flattering. It just tells me that you feel you isn't enough and you have to over do it to really seal the deal with me. Wrong. Wrong. They're always so wrong.

I appreciate and get so open (on the inside of course, poker face on outside) when men are comfortable in their skin and I like who they are.

A flaw I have, I really lose interest fast .. I don't jump from guy to guy to begin with but the few I do give just the time of day never last long. We run out of things to talk about .. Bad habits reveal themselves and I just fade into the background. I guess because I know what I'm looking for, I can spot what I'm not looking for so easily.. And I'm not into wasting my time or yours. So I won't. And in some cases people really won't let it go if they didn't end it or don't understand your reasoning. But it's not you, it's me. You're not for me.
I understand that, there's been situations where I thought I was right for someone and I wasn't. I can't force that and I certainly won't let anyone force that on me.


I guess it is weird.. Or I'm just really real.