Time.

Time reveals all, no? But I don't got the time to wait ..  I don't have much of a choice.. So in the mean time I have to make the most of my time, spend it wisely and be aware of my time. 

There's earth time - 24 hours in a day.

There's our time - our lifetime. 

See, some things go by earth time.. The world revolves around earth time, different time zones.. But time nonetheless. You gotta be at work by this time, you take a break at another time, you clock out at your designated time. You have an appt. by this time, you have an order being shipped by this date at this time. You have a date for this time, you have to make a call at that time.. and so on. Time is just something we humans created to ease our hypertension anxiety of infinity, forever is a long time .. Forever has no time. Forever doesn't exist .. Time doesn't exist. 

In our lifetime, there's things we won't ever fully understand until its meant for us to get it.. We have to let time run its course. As bad as we want an answer to a question about a person or a situation, we have to wait. We can't force it. We can't try to make our own understanding of it because we're not fully equipped with everything needed to make that conclusion .. The biggest factor, time .. Takes its time in revealing everything when needed. I don't mean 24 hour time, I mean life time. 

Because life doesn't run on a clock. Life doesn't have a curfew when to show up with everything you need. Life takes its time and sometimes that bitch is molasses slow. She's funny like that, forcing us to practice patience and constantly reminding us we don't have to rush, all in due time. Yet we as humans feel the need to rush and scramble to try to make sense of everything as we go along. And as bad as we want to make sense of everything. Life doesn't make sense.. Until we're done. Hindsight is 20/20, everything is clearer in the rear view. As we're speeding through life on man made time we are so confused and our vision is blur(red) .. With emotions, and half finished puzzles .. Scrambling to figure out the messages before time is up. But in reality, time is only up when you die.. Or when you decide that enough of your time has been spent on a particular situation or person .. But even then, life has a way of completing puzzles for us despite us walking away from it. 

Take movies and books for example.. The ending sums up the entire story.. By the end, there's clarity.. There's the light at the end of the tunnel. Only at the end is this revealed. The end of the story. We all have stories with a variety of things and people, you may have stopped reading them but doesn't mean the story is over.. You just got frustrated with confusion and let it go. Maybe you felt too much time was spent and not enough clarity for your liking.. Perfectly understandable. 

But let me tell you this, life will finish that story for you.. Because life has its own time that may not be as fast as your speed but life will catch up and show you what you were missing, show you what you couldn't see back then. And then, you're able to finish that story.. Close that book. And continue with your life.. And most times when life shows you what time it's on, you tend to slow down ... No need to rush when you know life is moving. 

And trust I know it's so hard to be patient, me and patience go at it almost every day but I keep cool.. I know she means best, my anxious nature makes it hard.. But I'm learning as time goes on. But time will reveal everything, time goes on.. And the end is when you die. Keep that in mind and you'll move differently. 

Now that's not an excuse to slack off and lose your sense of urgency, because  in this sense.. Time is out of your control. But with things that you have control of, the timing included with that control.. you must act on it and seize the opportunity. But have no fear.. Life got you.

Your life will reveal in its own time every purpose of every situation and person that enters and exits your life. It's always a reason, it's always a lesson. Always a blessing, even if its in a disguise that makes you sad or want to cry. It's life.

Patience is all that's needed with life time. And in your lifetime patience will definitely benefit you more than it will hurt you. In the mean time, use your time wisely and efficiently.. And with time that's not in your control, just make your wait useful and productive so you don't realize how long you have to wait. Life time doesn't have a clock you can stare at... So the wait feels like an eternity. 

Just be patient.

Mental.

That's all it comes down to. 

Your mental state .. Your mentality. 

Fuck your looks,

Fuck your circumstances,

Fuck everything that's not mental. 

People can argue with you about how much looks matter, or how people are just placed in these amazing|horrible circumstances but all that is bullshit. It comes down to your mind frame ultimately. Your mind frame is what separates you or groups you with others. 

Your mind frame is everything you are; how you view things, how you view them determines how you feel, and how you feel determines how you act. Your mind frame is what pushes you forward or holds you back. And your mind frame is the only thing that allows you or prevents you from seeing that. Real shit. 

I have alte(red) my mindset to better work for me, sure it took time but its evolved (still evolving) nonetheless. Not to mention, I wasn't closed minded to begin with. So I'm assuming its twice as hard for close minded individuals.. But again, it's mind over matter. 

Everything in life is as hard or as easy as you make it mentally. It's crazy, you could be sca(red) as fuck about something .. And psyche yourself out. But when it goes down, you laugh at the fact it wasn't nearly as scary as YOU MADE IT OUT TO BE IN YOUR MIND. funny isn't it? We've all had those moments. Or when you're mentally preparing yourself for something, and you take over, no doubts, just pure action. Your mentality allowed you to do so. You can do anything you put your mind to, and if you don't believe that. You're a fool. Literally, ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO, fully put your mind to, YOU CAN ACHIEVE IT. 

A positive mentality knows it has no limit, no boundaries.. And is pushed everyday. Sees the beauty in everything and is yearning to expand. A negative mentality is always, negative. cages itself in, too weak to see the strength in the mind, the power that lies inside you, some weak individuals feel the power but are frightened by this. Don't know what to do with it, don't know how to handle it.

Mentally, alot of people aren't sharp.. They're not on point. They believe life circumstances are the reasons for the way their life is turning out when in reality, it's them. Mentally, they have not fully grasped the simple idea that YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE. Mentally they're still blaming others for what they lack, when in reality they haven't made the most of what they have to get more.. Mentally, they're playing checkers, jumping all around the board.. When in reality, it's chess.. Strategic moves and critical thinking. It's always chess. But mentally people can barely play checkers, let alone chess. 

We supposedly use 10% of our brains which is fucking pathetic if you ask me.. How is it we as humans have advanced everything else around us except for the percentage amount of brain cells we use? That's crazy to me. I try to exercise my mind quite frequently, pushing myself mentally, to figure things out. Anything that keeps my mind flowing. Just to keep it sharp. One thing I will never do is take my mind for granted. Sure sometimes, i wish I could turn my mind off for a second but my mentality is what keeps me going. It is the very core of my mind frame that knows how vital it is to keep my mind spinning, to make sure I'm always on point mentally. My mind frame is the type that takes something from everything my eyes or ears capture, makes shit works and find out why things aren't working.. Isn't phased by obstacles or things not working out in its favor, knows what it's worth and won't stop til it gets everything it deserves. That's my mindset. Once I set my mind on something, there's not anything anyone can do about it. Except me, I can do something about it. And I do what I always do, continue to expand it. 

Everyone should have their own mindset. A mindset that works for them specifically, not someone else's mindset they just happened to admire and hope to emulate their wonderful life by adapting to their mind frame. That will never work for you the way it works for someone else. Your life is custom for you, so should your mindset; your own set of morals, goals, thoughts, views etc. and your mindset should help you progress as a person instead of holding you back, if your mindset is holding you back from prospering.. Change your mindset. It's okay. It's yours. If it's not working in your favor, change it.. Alter it so that it does. Be honest with yourself. Some are sca(red) of being honest with themselves because they fear to face that reality of realizing your mind frame is the reason you're not prospering. And it's okay.. It is okay if it's your mindset holding you back, as long as you change it when you realize that's your biggest setback.. Ignoring it for the sake of being stubborn and not wanting to change is just dumb. You're smarter than that. I mean, if your mindset the ONLY thing holding you back? Don't play yourself, change it for the better.. you'll only hurt yourself more than you've already have continuing with this fucked up mindset. The beauty of the mind is we can change it just by altering our thoughts... It is that easy, if you want it to be. 

I don't argue. Arguing with people is just battle of the mindsets, the more you try to force your point, the more the opposing mind rejects it, closing up in the process. Never try to force an opinion or a point.. State your case and let the people decide. Giving people that mental space to figure out and fully register what you've said is key in getting a point across especially when dealing with people with strong mindsets. Just because its a strong mindset doesn't mean it's right. People tend to feel if they stick strongly by what they know, it makes what they know right, and it doesn't. 

There's a way to stick to what you know, but also be accepting of new information; not necessarily changing your opinion or view, but accepting that there's more than one way to look at something. That's the proper mindset. The ability to separate what you know, from what you've learned, from what you feel is very vital.. Well at least my mind seems to think so. You can get so much farther once you've realized that ability. You can articulate your views, debate opinions in a respectable manner and learn something new in the process. And that's just beautiful. That's your mind in motion. And if you're like me who makes every conversation count for something no matter how minuscule the conversation is, your mind grows from it. 

That's all it's really about. Growing. Our bodies will age, our circumstances will change, but never let your mind stay the same. I've witnessed people grow old and life has taken its toll on them, their circumstances changed (not always for the better) but their minds didn't. Because their minds stay the same, they never got nowhere.. Nowhere near where they wanted to be. All because they were so stuck in their ways, their mental ways. See the mind more powerful than one thinks, if you don't know how powerful your mind is, your mind has full power over you.

Who's in control, you or your mind? Who's stronger, you or your mind? 

I wish you the strength to control your mind if you have no strength or control over it. 

Get your mind right, while there's time left.

Restraint.

Lord.. A gift and a curse restraint is.

To be able to keep your composure when you don't want to, is a gift. A curse when you need to let loose and you don't.

My self restraint is stronger than the hulk is when mad. Idk where I get this sense of control from .. Maybe it's from seeing people make a fool of themselves by not holding it together when they should. Maybe I'm sca(red) of what could happen if I lost control. I honestly don't know what I'm capable of. I would hate to lose control and regret my actions later. Times when I feel I should let loose, I still don't. My restraint won't allow me to. Idk if that's instinct and I choose the wrong times to want to let loose. But I hold it down, my composure doesn't crack. At all. I'm starting to think this is more harmful to me than helpful. I haven't quite maste(red) how to turn my restraint on and off whenever I please.. Shit I have a hard time turning it off to begin with.

I need to get that figu(red) out quick. When I get word vomit I swallow it back down. I don't speak. Maybe that's wiser in the long run.. Depending on the scenario. But holding in shit bothers me. Bothers me even after I know I should've said something but by then it's too late. To me anyway. I hate to bring up something I should've been addressed. And that's my fault every time. So what I do when that happens? I charge it to the game. I write it down. I address it exactly the moment it's brought up again... Because believe, it will get brought up again.

Sometimes my restraint helps me in ways I don't understand until time has run it's course. For that, I'm always thankful. Right now, idk whether or not my restraint just helped or hurt me.. I guess time will reveal all right?

Lord patience is a funny bitch

Free.

Shit real.

Like really real.

I'm really positive that with the events that have been unfolding. The time is now. All I see is signs. I'm just following them trusting I'll get closer to my goal, my dreams. Making them concrete reality. I've been patient, even though I may have tried to rush things.. The universe didn't hesitate to put me in my place and said ... Wait. Just wait. And when one door close, the other opens. And some doors are opening just as others are slamming shut. And instead of being upset, I am surprisingly happy that certain doors are slamming shut. I don't have to turn back. This may be the force I needed to really push me forward. I don't have to look back .. There's no reason to. And like I told myself back when I was at rock bottom, it's only up from here. I ain't going back down. That's not happening, I hated that feeling of feeling lost, helpless, confused, frustrated.. Just fed up. And though I don't dwell on the past I keep those emotional memories fresh, to keep me going .. Keep that in mind to remind me of where I don't want to be. And keep fueling me to where I need to go. Where I belong. I feel a sense of freedom I never felt before. And it feels excitingly awesome.

Just going to continue playing the cards I dealt with properly.. Continue making moves and ensuring every step is strategic.. life is chess, never checkers.

The Strangest Secret.

"This is Earl Nightingale and I would like to tell you about the strangest secret in the world".....

His voice is pretty weird, but his message is amazing. It's not a validation but rather a reassurance of things you may have felt but couldn't describe .. Or maybe that's just how I felt.

If you can listen, truly listen to that and not have a change of attitude afterwards ... This is not for you. You are the 95% who like to ignore the truth. I swear I can always tell who listen to it by how their lives are structu(red). Listen to people when they talk. You can tell how they view life by how they speak of their own. It's indeed the strangest secret.

I think it's amazing to me how a message like this can be around for decades (1956) yet still only 5% succeed in life. Since I've made this message apart of my life, I've tried to pass it on to any and every one willing to listen. Majority of those get the message; the few that didn't just only confirmed what I already knew about them but didn't want to admit. They're failures before they even got a chance to try. I've realized in life that failure is a state of mind, just as success is. Just as everything in life is, if you want to get technical. Conformity is also a state of mind. A very dangerous state of mind as Mr. Nightingale explains in depth .. That's the problem with people today.

“The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it’s conformity.” — Rollo May

Conformity. Acting like everyone else because everyone else is doing it.
Clones. Easier to blend in. Easier to live life by standards set by the majority party. Because in all reality people don't truly wanna live, they're just getting comfortable as they await death. If people really wanted to live, they would. Less miserable souls wandering the streets and more happy beings bursting with joy lighting up the pavements when they pass on by. Because living, is doing what makes you feel alive; not what turns your face stale as if life is a bitter old apple you just took a big bite of. People often do what they think is right rather than what feels right. That may work in some cases, but even in my 21 years of living I can already tell you that with life itself. That's not gonna work.

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.” — George Bernard Shaw

I love everything about the quote above, especially because I was once that person .. Blaming my circumstances, using that a crutch because I couldn't stand up on my own two and accept my circumstances, were the cause of me. Didn't do me any good, so I tossed the crutch .. Ain't limp since. I try to help people change their mind frame, because as Mr. Nightingale told us; we become what we think about.
We think about what we become.
It's a never ending cycle.

The same reason we aren't supposed to invest so much time and thought into fear but rather invest it in something more positive, more desirable. Of course, it's easier said than done .. But if you really focus on it .. Eventually it'll be done and you will be amazed at why you didn't change your mind frame sooner. Some people are so stuck in their ways, they don't see it .. But that's because they don't want too. If they want to change, they would be open to change. Right? But to admit that, would mean admitting that one was closed minded to begin with, and lord knows no one wants to admit that willingly.

But this is a great inspirational taping, and I will forever spread the knowledge and belief I have for that particular message. You become what you think about.
I'm sure I'll be more convincing once I become all I ever thought of .. I'm getting there.

"What you think today and tomorrow, the next month, the next year, will mold your life and determine your future. You’re guided by your mind."

Thoughts before bed.

I had a pretty good day, decent weekend overall.
Now as I just get comfortable in my bed, soon the sun peek through ..
I'm watching Family Matters, only because the batteries in my remote control finally died.

Any who, after the interesting day I had..
I realized, people are who they are and unless they have a true sense of self, no matter what you tell them about themselves whether it's true or not; they won't see it. I'm learning how to leave people as they are .. No matter how much I want to see people better themselves all around, I can't force that. That's something people have to want for themselves. I have no control over that. And it saddens me, when people are trapped in a certain mindset that's holding them back from becoming a better person.

I could give my perspective on a view but because of how I'm viewed my perspective isn't taken as serious, that's top 5 most annoying things. A friend of mine told me literally 20 minutes ago "you give good advice and make valid points but you don't live that life, you don't care about anything" because I'm not as vocal with my concerns, because I don't like to complain, because I TRULY believe anything endu(red) will pass, people assume I'm careless. If not everything, majority of the words I speak, I live by. And anything otherwise is usually introduced with an "I heard" .. I like to practice what I preach, I hate people who are full of shit so I never wanted to be anything close to a resemblance to that. I never claim to be perfect and of course I get upset, but I pride myself in letting shit go and moving on. Life doesn't stop here and neither will I. I refuse to let things bother me for long periods of time, life is literally too short for that. People really tend to forget that. We're not here forever, no one is .. So I'm going to make my time here enjoyable. ( earl nightingale voice ) I honestly can't remember the last time I had an entire bad day. And I hope that memory stays distant.

I've been up all day you'd think I'd be ti(red) ... But I'm not. Kinda. I have to work tomorrow too. :/ let me get some sleep.



"Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing." — Camille Pissarro

The Thirst

In a world where Social media and screen shots run everything, people have used the term "thirst" to "expose" or as I like to say showcase attention given to them from others. 

Now, let's back track and dig deep to the root of this problem. 

Insecure females and males always feel the need to broadcast signs of attention. Whenever attention is given to them, they want the world to know, someone is paying them mind because deep inside they're so empty inside that the attention from others give them such fulfillment they must show it. (ie. Retweeting every compliment, Screenshotting conversations etc.) The more someone shows attention to someone, it goes unappreciated and into the thirst bucket. And once that thirst bucket gets filled, the bucket gets pou(red) out to the internet for all to see. really fucking pathetic if you ask me. 

I certainly don't find humor at the expense of someone else's emotions especially when they're genuinely trying to get to know you. Girls be so quick to call a nigga thirsty because he's sending her texts and commenting on her pictures on instagram but ask them how many times they told a nigga flat out, I'm not interested. or Thanks or but no thanks ... I won't hold my breath. Now, don't get me wrong some people are overly expressive on how they feel and don't know how to take a hint or won't take no as an answer, but that's no reason to show case to the world how this person's been "thirsting
for you. Just be cool. 

What's worse is, now a days everyone so sca(red) of being labeled as thirst that alot of things go unsaid and undone. nobody wants to look thirsty, no one wants to feel like they're doing too much, so now what happens when someone doesnt wanna do too much, but the other person feels like enough isnt being done? ... neither party wants to say how they feel because they don't want to come off as overly interested. Just sad, It happens to the best of us. But the cycle has to be broken, Fellas stop exposing females you preyed on to begin with, and ladies .. please stop screen shotting conversations and RT'ing compliments. It's not that serious. 

Fuck a thirst, If you interested, say something .. If you feel your interest isn't interested in you, cut your losses and move on. Avoid the people who would even call your interest in them "thirst"

Signs.

When I look at people who are unsatisfied with their life .. I always wonder, where in their life they igno(red) the signs??

... I am a firm believer in vibes, signs and energy .. and I feel all are key components in life. I also feel that if you're heading in the wrong direction in life, there are signs to tell you such; whether you want to recognize or ignore it, that's ultimately on you. I been paying attention lately, more than usual .. especially now that my mind has been becoming much more clearer. All I wanna do is right my wrongs .. and WRITE my wrongs .. so that getting right is nothing but a thang. All I've been doing is plotting and some more plotting. At this time in my life, I know exactly what I want, in a very clear idea .. I don't really have time for much else these days, but perfecting my blueprint. on a pursuit of happyness .. word to Will & son.

You aint about that life.

That term is fun to throw around when you're playfully teasing/joking but some people use it in the most serious tone.
But, I just want to know ..
How do you know what life I'm about?
You know me since birth?
You know my thoughts? My dreams? My aspirations?

People tend to forget, just because you know someone doesn't mean you know everything or every side to them. Just because you weren't aware of what someone was capable of doesn't mean "they're not about that life" ..

Susie could be the sweetest girl, she kills three people and someone she knows would say nah she not about that life .. Umm apparently she is.

People are so quick to box people into this frame they've built off of what they've seen and assume this is all the person is; it never occurs to them that maybe there's more to this person than they know. I, for one am rarely ever surprised when I see or hear things from people that isn't what I'm used to seeing or hearing from them. But I don't judge or claim "they're not about that life" the most I say is "shit, I ain't know (S)he had it in 'em"

People show you what they want to show you, You never stop getting to know a person, if you feel you hav,e that's where you fucked up at. everyday is different than the last and people grow every day. Don't underestimate anyone. Anyone is capable of anything. You most certainly can be about that life, if you choose to.

Your body is a temple.

I like to view the human body as a house, an apartment .. a place of residence to say the least. Our thoughts, our emotions and soul lives in our bodies. Permanent residence until we die (lol). And of course like any place of residence we undergo renovations, people change their appearances often as they grow into the person they're supposed to become. Some people lose control and are unhappy w| how they look, the same feeling you have when you move into an apartment or a house that needs work done. The feeling of comfort is priceless, to me anyway, I feel like in order to be completely happy you have to comfortable in your own skin, And looks aren't everything but if you're not happy w| how you look change it. That includes w| how you feel on the inside. 

Like a house, you can't put up a house on the market that needs work, you won't get alot of buyers. If you know you have issues you need to deal w| or questions you don't have answers too, don't get into a relationship. No one wants to deal w| a mess, No one wants to be w| someone who is not even sure of themselves. 

Now there are some people in this world who are willing to deal w| someone with problems because they themselves have their own problems or they feel as if they can change the world (these people tend to be very controlling) Either way it's not healthy, and usually doesn't end up well.

If you're gonna put your "house" on the market make sure the outside reflects the inside in every positive way as possible. w| relationships, knowing what you're getting into is an advantage, surprises are nice here and there as long as they don't come w| bad news, you don't want to devote time and effort into a relationship that is going to fall apart because one of you doesn't have it all together. And when I mean have it all together I mean within yourselves. Not within a relationship, a strong relationship takes time and problems will arise that's not the issue. 

The issue is emotionally unstable people trying to mask their emotions by pouring their hearts into a relationship they know they are definitely not ready for. If you can't make yourself happy, how can you make someone else happy ? Your happiness counts first and foremost, Once you're happy everything else will fall into place. Before you have standards for other people you must have standards for yourself. Bring up your value, Reupholster your pussy or dick (without the help of Yeezy .. lol) do whatever it is you feel you need to do to make your body, your soul the exact way you want it. 

The moral of the story is, Don't sell your self short, be the person you would love to be w| .. 

"Whatever you do, make it mean something to you."

I'm hearing voices, I think I'm schizophrenic.

*Rick Ross voice* I don't actually think I'm schizophrenic .. I do have several "sides" to me, which I will take the time out to break it down.


The Stubborn me: the reason I'm so driven is cause I really don't give a fuck what other people have to say, on what I should do, what I do or how I do something. I like to do things on my own, make my own mistakes. If I fall I bounce right back. I never ever been a follower, It just doesn't sit right w| me .. I'm a firm believer in accepting all responsibilities for your actions. People always want to blame others for their actions because they listened to others advice on how to act. Well if you do what you want and shit don't work you can only blame yourself, cause when you listen to others and things fail, you sit there and think .."damn I should've never listened to so and so" 


The "Selfish" me: I put my happiness before others. Sometimes making others happy makes me very happy. But in the end I always put my best interest first. I don't want to settle for anything less then the best of anything .. I want the finest things for myself .. and that includes the best people around me. I have goals and only I can reach them so I will stop at nothing and some people call me selfish .. If that's selfish .. so be it.


The Sensitive me: Alot of people wouldn't call me sensitive .. in fact they would probably call me a bitch, but that's because I don't show this side often. I love watching romance movies and reading love stories .. A little piece of me wishes Fairy Tale endings existed and tears at sad endings in movies. My heart aches when I see homeless people and animals. But I don't show my sensitive side because emotions get you hurt, so I preserve mine. The sensitive in me is the most of a girly girl I'll ever be. Guys I'm interested in see more of a girly sensitive side, but rarely cause I like to keep a poker face. lol It might seem silly to some, might make sense to others, but this way works best for me.


The Bitch in me: Everyonee knows this side of me very welll .. I get called a bitch or coldhearted cause I know how the real world works, I have this realist mentality that doesn't take bullshit from anyone. Whenever I say what I'm thinking .. I don't censor my thoughts, I don't try to hurt anyone's feelings .. But I say what I mean and I mean what I say. You can take it how you want, If you don't understand what I'm saying, I'll be happy to elaborate but don't get upset cause of how I feel or what I think of a situation .. that's one of the dumbest shit I ever heard, getting mad at someone for their opinion. I don't take many things personal and I don't give a fuck who feels some type of way. You can't be nice .. people walk all over nice, I don't like people walking over me.


The Guy in Me: According to my roommate I'ma boy .. According to most my guys friends, I'm one of them. I like Video Games, I watch ESPN (not all day), I love sports. Music wise .. Oh man we can go on all day. I get wasted like they do and I'm a chill person .. I can take a joke and I'm not sca(red) to be myself, I guess I'm going to always be a tomboy at heart. At a young age I always felt more comfortable w| guys, w| girls .. Everything was a competition, who's the prettiest, who had the most guys, how we dressed and all this other bullshit I never ca(red) about. w| guys I can just hang out in sweats and a bun on top of my head and they don't give a fuck except who rolling up this time. They come to me all the time asking girl advice and I'm guilty of giving them lines to get into girls draws. but Hey, they fell for it. When it's time to go out, and I look like a "girl" (thats what they tell me) they get all over protective of me.. like the older brothers I feel they are, and sometimes it's annoying but I love my guys I know they have their best interest at heart and I wouldn't change that, I love the fact that people want the best for me.


*All these little pieces of me combined is who I am .. I mean there's more depth to it, but Its a nice little insight. I wouldn't change who I am for the world. I love who I am and who I'm becoming. 

Just a thought.

I try my hardest not to judge people, and to look at things from both sides of the fence. I am aware everyone views life differently and have their own perception of right and wrong. 

But I feel certain things aren't acceptable no matter how you look at. There is an unwritten code of conduct that people should follow. I feel 'Be True to Yourself' is at the top of the list. I can not even begin to explain how much I hate when a person tries to portray something they are not. Lying about what they do, what they have and even who their with. Somewhere in their small minds they believe everything they say while proof of otherwise is clearly visible. 

I am all about self-improvement and doing things to better yourself, if you don't like your appearance or how you handle certain things, then by all means change it. But to lie, and hide behind this mask as if you're this one person when you're truly someone else is truly disturbing. I tend to stay away from people like that. I can't not deal w| liars and frauds. I know a handful of people who lie about the littlest things to impress people who can careless. The attention seekers who lie about lifestyles and make every little simple situation a complex one are truly annoying.

I've dealt w| people like that in my past, and I always felt bad .. but at the same time I felt fake, knowing I didn't want to be around this person because the lies were too much but not wanting to be a super bitch and hurt their feelings so I just avoided them from time to time. People like this are everywhere, in school, at home, even at work .. People like that are so self-absorbed and usually have this level of unhappiness w| themselves so they fabricate another life which seems more appealing. There's no helping them. Telling them "about themselves" only results in wasted breaths and pointless arguments. My advice to anyone dealing w| someone like that, just cut off all ties. Trust me you're better off. But that's just me .. and this is just a thought. 


Daily Quote:
Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. - Mark Twain

eh ... : \

hmm .. idk any more .. honestly, it seems all my logic seems to be getting poked holes at. it's like i'm running on a treadmill no matter how hard i run, i stay in the same place. -_-



oh yeah happy father's day to all the true fathers out there ant the mother who play daddies ..

help ? .. never mind.

well i've been home for about a month now. still no job -_- it's kinda frustrating because there's alot of things i want and need .. and i'm not trying to depend on my mother forever (not like she'll let me) but anyways, i'm sitting here thinking bout my life .. (my birthday was on Thursday) and it's weird. when i was a little kid i swore by 19 i'll have my own apartment a car and just having the time of my lifee .. now let me check .. own apartment ? nope. own car ? not yet. having the time of my life ? not today. so that makes me think well if nothing comes out as planned, or as i thought. imagine 10 years from now ? where will i be ? will i be a socialite therapist w| a killer body a closet to die for and everything else i wanna be ? or will i be just another woulda coulda .. i feel i need to change how i orbit. i tend to be a slacker, i'm smart i know what i'm capable of .. i just tend to be extra lazy .. and that's not gonna get me anywhere. so *shrugs* change is good no ? well i'm starting to do little things to change my habit .. baby steps .. baby steps. lol