Back to reality.

I try to be in the moment as much as possible. After all, all we have is a moment. A second later, it's the past.. A second after is the future.

The reality of things settled in, and I really gotta turn it up. Especially if I want to continue in the moment. There's certain mistakes I keep on making, like I don't learn.. My stubbornness is definitely a big factor. I question everything even after I have an answer. I question myself all the time just to make sure I'm aware.

Which got me to thinking...
There's a fine line between delusional and determined.

How the fuck can you know the difference when you're in the moment? It's only until the end when we see if it was determination or pure delusion on our part.

I feel I'm determined as fuck, but I tread that line carefully.. I don't want to become delusional. I try to stay as focused but still aware of reality. Because expectations and reality don't always go hand in hand. Word to Tom Hanson.

I have alot of expectations, but reality hasn't quite caught up yet. But you think that's gonna break me? Nope. I just gotta work harder, change some variables and pray I'm satisfied with the results.

I'm aware certain shit is out of my control, trust .. I get enough reminders of that. And although I wish I had more control I just gotta focus on what I can, and make sure that's REALLY under control. Ya know? I'm trying to stay afloat, no matter how much weight I carry or gets thrown on my shoulders.. I won't allow myself to drown.

On another note, I'm really getting better. Noting what I need to improve and improve what I already feel I'm good at.

It's all about progress.