help ? .. never mind.

well i've been home for about a month now. still no job -_- it's kinda frustrating because there's alot of things i want and need .. and i'm not trying to depend on my mother forever (not like she'll let me) but anyways, i'm sitting here thinking bout my life .. (my birthday was on Thursday) and it's weird. when i was a little kid i swore by 19 i'll have my own apartment a car and just having the time of my lifee .. now let me check .. own apartment ? nope. own car ? not yet. having the time of my life ? not today. so that makes me think well if nothing comes out as planned, or as i thought. imagine 10 years from now ? where will i be ? will i be a socialite therapist w| a killer body a closet to die for and everything else i wanna be ? or will i be just another woulda coulda .. i feel i need to change how i orbit. i tend to be a slacker, i'm smart i know what i'm capable of .. i just tend to be extra lazy .. and that's not gonna get me anywhere. so *shrugs* change is good no ? well i'm starting to do little things to change my habit .. baby steps .. baby steps. lol