I hate to impose. So I don't.
I never been one to force things or put pressure on others.. It's annoying and doesn't end well.
People don't like to feel like they're being forced. If you're forcing it, the other person clearly doesn't want any parts. The person may not realize they don't want any parts until you put the pressure on..
If I tell you I got front row tickets to your favorite artist concert with backstage passes, you canceling anything you had in mind to go. Fuck work, fuck school .. Man fuck these kids (if you got 'em) you wanna go and nothing gonna stop you. I wouldn't need to convince you. Right?
Cool. Now if I tell you I got two shovels, meet me at 3am, me and you gonna dig up some shit in the cemetery, not only will you think I'm crazy but you'll give me all the excuses in the world not to go. It's 3 am, it's manual labor involved, we could get arrested or worse possessed. Fuck no. Right? Cool.
I could impose, bring up wild shit I've done for you in the past, or how often I was there when you needed me.. But for what? You don't wanna do it. No matter what I try to force .. You still won't wanna do it. And sometimes you REALLY don't wanna do it if I force it on you. It's like natural for us to resist what's being pushed on us. Think about it. If you gotta push up I clearly didn't want it.
*think about those flyers people pass out. Standing there smack dab in the middle of sidewalk traffic screaming their promotions, hand out with the flyer .. You don't glance .. Shit you not even tryna make eye contact, but somehow that flyer will be waved in your face and even pushed on to your hand ... Naturally you'll wave it away and keep it moving, you really don't want it at this point. But think of those people who take the flyers trying to be nice, what they do as soon as they're out of sight? Toss that flyer.
Don't be the person handing out the flyer or you'll end up like the flyer.
I hateeee imposing things on people. I love when people do things because they want to. Genuinely want to, not because I asked 1,828,283 times .. That's annoying for both parties. And people do things better when they want to, not as carelessly as its done when it feels like you HAVE too.
Perfect example with guys.
If we're getting to know each other.. The more you get to know about me you'll know what I like, don't like, pet peeves, energy boosts.. Depending how interested you are in me ...
I always determine how much a guy is interested in me by how much thought he puts into things including me. Even if he don't say it, because I get to know people so well so quickly, I can tell whether or not thought was put into something based on how much I know about them. I ask vague like questions but the answers and actions say more about you than the actual question, I never make it hot. I just make a note and keep it moving.
I accept men for who they are, that's why I pride myself in knowing who I'm dealing with. The better I feel I know you, the better I can assess how this would work; if it can work to begin with. I don't ask for a man to change his ways. I don't demand things. Demanding things is usually a sign of something missing. To require something from one who doesn't seem willing is a waste of time for me. Idk about everybody else.
I noticed some women pride themselves to changing men, I'm not one. You either wasting time; waiting on the change or get left with the change. Very rare I hear of anything else. I'm not with it.
I shouldn't have to ask you for anything. I shouldn't have to demand for special treatment or time. You should want to give me these things, you should want to be everything I need because you feel I'm everything you need. And seeing me in even the slightest negative mood should bother you, and anything I wanna pursue.. You're right there, not because I asked you to be but because there's no other place you rather be. And seeing things you'll know I like and getting it for me is more instinct than careful planning. Pushing me when I get overwhelmed and feel I'm not enough for the world.. Reminding me how you feel by showing me you care and be so attentive it's scary. Scary like forgetting I mentioned something but your actions reminded me I said it, and you, actually.. listened.
You know how rare that is? No man will ever do it by force. It will never feel the same forced. That's why I never ask for that. I don't impose that. Not everyone willing to give that. To just anybody anyway.
I'm willing to give that, not just to anybody as well.
I often drift away and lose touch with guys who try to pursue me but its not really me. It really be them, I can't tell them that because they'll take it way more personally but it's like c'mon. You not really that into me so who you tryna fool me or you? If we talk more about you than me, you're not that into me. If you not interested in what I do with my life, you're not that into me. If you're not thinking of ways to "court me" instead of "score with me" .. You really not that interested in me. And that's okay.
I understand men just wanna fuck. I fully comprehend that. And if you let them, men will fuck you. Doesn't mean they like you .. Just means their dick got hard and it seems a little bit gay if they don't fuck (unless they're tryna be faithful). So knowing this, I'm very -_- nonchalant to say the least when I'm pursued. But don't be mad if I don't let you fuck because I feel you're not that into me .. Or if I stop fucking you because of that. (Feelings do fade) like I said I don't impose, I just let go.
Because the best things happen naturally.. No force needed. If you feel you're doing too much, Stop. that means you're under appreciated. When you're appreciated you're willing to give more.. If you feel like you need to fall back .. Fall all the way back. Don't force it, if anything force yourself to move on.
I tried forcing a scenario once .. He played the role so well he set the standards .. I guess he either got ti(red) of playing it or said fuck it, he got me. Idk. Probably both. But I tried to bring that back, remind him of what used to be. What had got me so hooked and I wanted a fix so bad. I wanted that man back. Not the person who stood before me taking me for granted, making me feel like I wasn't good enough anymore. And that's a horrible feeling when those same eyes used to look at you like he saw a new day, now look at you like it's just another day. That's so wack. And instead of just forcing myself to move on, I tried to force him. And he just got worse. And when it finally hit me, it was over ..this is it. I ran away and never looked back.
I know better, and I've found better.. Which always makes me glad I don't impose.
Never try to force it, but somehow they tend to gravitate in my orbit.
Forcing pushes what you want away. Accepting people for who they are always makes them want to be a better person cause of you. But you have to truly love who they are.
Telling someone you love them but want to alter things about them is not love, it's selfish. You trying to customize a person for you when this person has customized themselves their entire life for them. You rejecting any piece of them is still rejecting them. People aren't too fond of rejection. Accepting people for who they are is saying, I love you for who you are right now; and although you have potential to be better than this, THIS is good enough.
And if it isn't good enough for you, don't impose .. Just let go.
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