Visuals pt. 2

I remember my first meeting with her..

Once I started officially smoking weed, i was introduced to this secret world of everything marijuana related.. Like shit you never even thought of, because you never got high. But it's like once you're high you find someone who has thought of whatever you're thinking. Anywho, I was talking to a friend and discussing ways to get in tuned. My friend suggested her .. told me get high before seeing her. Funny thing is I knew her but I never knew of her doing this.. Ha, Nobody knows nobody.

I get high and go to meet her.
Admiring her office..
— I heard you the woman to come to when shit get real
"so I've heard, what can I help you with"

We sized each other up a little bit, in a respectable manner, but we're females nonetheless. She offers me a seat on her cream puff couch, and tells me to get comfortable. I take her up on her offer I'm high anyway. She's beautiful, I give her that. Graceful even. She has this calm thing going, as if she's not even trying.. Like she doesn't have to. Any effort would make her appear over the top. Lucky her, she could probably get any man she wanted.. I wonde(red) if she had one.. What kinda guys she was into, if we had the same taste.. I wonde(red) what she thought of me.
"Talk to me" — what you wanna know?
"Whatever you want to tell me"

And that's how it began, I would just tell her things, ask her things.. observe, watch her reactions.. Sometimes I would yank her leg but she always knew, always a step ahead that one. Nonetheless, I grew. Speaking to her, I got bigger and better. The possibilities seemed endless.

I asked her, why was she so open about her smoking and her unorthodox method of psycho-cyphing as she calls it. She smiled, she likes questions like that (I would later realize this and abuse that due to my inquisitive nature)

"Why do you think marijuana is illegal?
— idk, it's a "drug" (finger air quotes) I suppose.
"No because its exposes you to the truth, the true you and everyone around you, that scares people.. And what scares people becomes illegal"
– you think so?
"Yeah, I feel you can be aware of things to an extent but when your eyes get glossy, ironically everything seems clearer. You're more in tuned, with you and everyone around you. If you're paranoid, you're running from something and the truth of what you're running from surrounds you; and the marijuana makes you aware of this.. I've noticed this over time throughout many individuals, including myself. Alcohol forces you to speak the truth, weed forces you to see the truth. People try so hard to keep up this mirage but alcohol makes them tell on themselves, weed makes them show themselves.. That's why I like to use those variables in my sessions.. My only goal is to help you. People are offended at the thought of someone helping them sort out their thoughts and feelings, like they can't control their own emotions or life.. I try to ease that. Make them feel more comfortable. Allow them to show themselves without fear of me abusing it like others in their past have"
— don't you ever get addicts?
"Moderation, honey.. That's the key to life."

That always stuck with me... Maybe that's her signature speech to reel in new cilents but I was sold. I really felt this comfort of safety and stability, feeling free to speak my mind and not FEEL judged was awesome.. I mean of course, she probably judged me, isn't that her job? To judge whether I'm sane or not but she never made me feel that way, that's all I needed.

"I mean yeah, it all depends on who you are" ..
— what you mean?
"You know if you need the courage to run from something or into something.. That's why people use these substances, to gather up courage.. some don't need it, some feel they do. But we don't need it, like alot of things. Our minds just make us feel we do.. It all depends on who you are.. And who you want to be... Who do you want to be?"
— well I want to be better.
".. Well then you better run into it than from it. Overcoming it makes you better, running from battles keep you the same." — shouldn't we be the same?
"Oh heavens no.. We're born different, we grow different, trying to stay the same is stunting your growth. You're born to be better. That's why we're allowed to groww"
She's standing up sprouting her arms like she's a plant, I'm assuming this is what she's doing.. Only logical reasoning for her spontaneous outburst (this would soon be the norm). I laugh, and ask her all the ways I can grow.. I've been feeling like a cocoon lately.. And I'm pretty sure my wings are ready. She likes my analogy and passes me the blunt.

"Why did you come talk to me?"
— idk.. I felt maybe you know what you're talking about, I inhale..
"Who makes that decision?"
— exhales.. Me, duh.
"Exactly."
— elaborate.
"You know you better than anyone, you knew to come to me, because it would help you grow.. May not have been consciously.. But deep down you knew. That's with everything.. You just have to trust yourself and act with you instead of against you"
—woah.. (I exhale and pass off.. I don't want her to think I'm steaming.. First impressions you know?) what do you mean act with me, how can I act against me? If what I feel I do is in my best interest? (I was confused and intrigued at the same time.. I never thought of how my actions worked against me but I loved that she brought it up, I wanted her to keep talking)
"Your actions will either benefit you [now, or later..] or hurt you [now or later..] you have to be in tuned with you, because you TRULY know which is which. Only you will know when a situation will benefit you in the long run if not at the moment, or when a situation will hurt you down the line if not right now. You have to always weigh out these options. You always have to know you, how YOU adapt to things and people, you always have to account for that. You may not be responsible for others actions and life's circumstances; but you gotta be able to acknowledge it and roll with the punches. Bob and weave. Feel me?"

And I did. I really felt her. As she was speaking, everything was clicking. Like puzzle pieces I didn't even know was laying around up there, just popped up and fell in place.
I literally saw that happening in my mind.

—Either this some really good weed or you're really fucking good at what you do.
She laughs "its a little bit a both"

The bell went off.

I mean that was first encounter.. Wouldn't you go back?