Venting?

Testing.. 1, 2 testing.
Can anybody hearrrrr meeee???
(No but you can read lol)
A lot of things have been secretly irking me. Not to the point where I'm consumed with these things but irked because it keeps getting brought up.

I hate explaining myself to people. I am aware that kinda sounds like a contradiction, but I explain points, views, experiences, thoughts even.. I don't explain me. I don't give people the run down on why I do whatever it is I chose to do.
Why? Because one, its none of your fucking business and two, whether or not I actually decide to put you on to what I'm doing.. Doesn't mean you have a say, just means you're meant to know because it may involve you or whatever. I'm going to do what I want regardless. Three. It's too much to say, I don't do anything for no reason. There's a purpose for everything.. And I feel I have to move accordingly to ensure the plan stays on track. it's just ... I just rather avoid it. I'm doing me. And that's all you need to know.

I hate that people feel they have to be involved in every single aspect of your life and as soon as they aren't, they become emotional.. And claim you're changing or trying to be something you're not. How do you know all that I am? Shit I'm still not even sure and I know my thoughts. You don't. Why is that people feel the need to push their insecurities on you, the ones that get defensive that you're pushing them to the back burner as they say.. Why would you automatically make this about you? Why isn't your first thought damn she really trying to make shit happen, even if you don't know.. Clearly if I'm "too busy" you shouldn't think I'm trying to blow you off, what does that say about what you think of me? What does that say of you, who tolerates a person like that around you? Why can't I be trying to get my life in a order that makes me happy? Why as someone who claims to care, not see I'm not happy where I'm at, not see all that I want, and not want me to go get that for myself? I don't get that.
You must not know me as well as you claim.

And this is why people get cut off, first of all. You don't know anybody better than they know themselves. I hate that saying. You may know them well, but trust unless they're living in denial you don't know them better than them. And the fucking audacity of you, to think you have these almighty spidey senses that allows you to know someone better than themselves is just crazy; ironically people who have this "I know the REAL you" type always underestimates the true potential of whoever it is. And that's because they put a limit. And there is none. They put their own limit on you, based on what they've seen, and what they think of you. They created your maximum potential in their eyes. And nine times out of ten, you already hit that potential. Ain't getting no bigger than that... Don't you even fucking try it. The moment you do, get ready to be accused of changing, and getting a big head.. You so full of yourself.. You being anything they didn't imagine for you, let alone themselves, is hard to digest.. And these people are so fucking bitter .. They have bitter oozing from their pores.. Taste buds bitter so that bitter taste as they have to digest you growing out of the box they felt they custom made for you is so hard to swallow.. They tend to act like a child drinking that horrible medicine during a cold... Before all the cool flavors came out (sigh these generations so lucky). tantrums and shows, no sense of self control at this point. They dig their own grave every time.. When you're negative only one way to go.. And that's down. And I'll cut those links before I sink too.

And why is everything always negative first .. Before positive thoughts. You hear something bad happened, you think the worst. And then, oh god forbid (does the cross across chest) and pray for better. Why if someone seems like they genuinely wants to be better in life, people think they're full of shit? Why everybody gotta be faking it? Just cause you are? Just because you wake up and have to paint a smile on your face because painting is way easier than facing your problems.. Well guess what, not everyone wants to pretend, some people happiness shows as soon as they start making that effort to be better. People are so consumed with trying to give off the illusion that they're happy that they're fucking miserable. They're rotting in this hell trap they're corne(red) themselves into and they just have to smile when the lights are on.

Well I'm not one of those people. I don't give a fuck what people assume of me, so much to the point I don't bother to correct their assumptions of me. Like I said I don't have to explain myself to anyone. You don't like how I move, bye. No love lost. Don't even think about coming back.. Have a nice life though. :) I've been told I'm cruel. But seriously, it's life. I don't have time to sit here and try to convince you of who I am and why the way I live is right, I'm not.. It's right for me. I'm gonna do what I have to do to make myself happy. That's why I consult with me. That's why not too many people know me, know me. Most of what they know is hearsay.. I intend to keep it that way.

People don't care, they just care to know. So I just don't care to tell them.. I'm either gonna get advice I don't need nor asked for or more questions... Or even worse, both.


Please no questions. I know what I'm doing.