Ramblations II

When I'm not talking to myself, I'm talking to my friends and our conversations range from anything under the dirt to over the sun. I love how deep we can get into these conversations; we value each others input while respecting our differences in views and opinions.

This one topic; Everybody got somebody. Got my thinking..

Is anybody really single? And if you are, are you stupid for being single in a society where "everybody got somebody"?

First let me elaborate on "everybody got somebody" .. Everybody approaches you like they're single, but they either have a lingering ex, a couple joints, maybe someone they want to take serious, but it hasn't gotten that far yet so they're keeping their options open type of shit. Both males and females are guilty of this. I've witnessed this myself plenty of occasions. You got guys selling single life dreams and proof of otherwise secretly popping up.. You got females who haven't gotten over their ex but trying to test the waters to see if the tide is better or wetter on the other side.

Compatibility > Convenience .. In my eyes, but to many it's quite the opposite. Compatibility means nothing where convenience is involved. If its convenient, majority gonna fuck with it.. And alot of tangled webs of deceptions are often webbed with the lazy strings of convenience. If compatibility was really a factor. Many wouldn't be fake single. They'll be really single or in a real relationship.. One that's more visible than not.

Honestly, I think there's this fear of rejection or "sca(red) of being lonely" syndrome that many endure which is why this whole "everybody got somebody" topic is so relevant. It's like keeping one door ajar while you knocking on the next door. Close the door behind you. And if you don't feel you want to, why try to enter new grounds? Selfish or just plain greedy. But I feel it's very cruel to play with emotions of others. To portray a set of emotions as if this person is the only one you're feeling this for, yet .. You still fucking with ya ex.. Or have a few "joints" lingering around.

To some, this is normal.. Regular shit. Helll yeah I'm keeping my options open, can't trust these niggas, can't trust these hoes. But how far can this go? How can you really expect anything serious coming from half.. Or even a quarter of your effort. Alot of connections get disconnected because there's a lack of honesty and straight forwardness with people. Be upfront with what you want, let me know what it is.. And what it isn't.
Stop playing games.
Unless you trying to play..
In that case play on..
Just let it be known you playing.

I'm single. I'm not lingering with no ex, no joints I can call when I'm bo(red).. I mean I can but I close doors for a reason. Not a big fan of back stepping. Maybe the reason that I don't mind being alone is why I can exclude myself from the whole "Everybody got somebody" circle.. But although I can exclude myself, many don't. Guys never believe me, I'm too pretty to not have someone they say.. Smh sad. And then my secretive personality doesn't help that. So they tend to hold back because they think I'm not as involved as they would like me to be. But, you're not even really single. So why you trying to check me?

With that in mind, a guy tells me he single, I assume he's lying. He has somebody. I let it rock. Most men can't really be alone. I don't use that against him, and I don't worry about what he does or who he's with.. When I'm not with him. I'll act accordingly.

But it's just ugly when you would like to be serious with someone and you're ready to be all in, and the other is scrambling to cut ties.. And in the mist of cutting ties (some may be easier to cut than others) the tougher ties to cut will cause problems with what you're trying to build over here. that's not fair. Of course overcoming problems is key in discovering how compatible you and someone are, but so early on can really rock the boat.. Depending on a series of variables. It's just messy.. I don't like messy situations.

I can go on all day with this.. But is anybody really single? Like single all around? And even if you don't feel single all the way around.. Whoever you feel you're feeling like you're in a relationship with, whether its sexual, mental, spiritual etc.. Is the feeling mutual, or top secret? Should you express it or repress it in hopes it goes away? In fear of rejection? If everybody got somebody and you have nobody, like me.. How the fuck you supposed to find someone? Lol I suppose life knows when and who .. We just gotta wait it out huh?

Eh.. Just a thought.