I despise waiting..
But in life we're always waiting for something .. Even when we don't want too.. But apparently we can't control that. Tragic..
But I've been learning patience, fussing and fighting.. But I'm still in class. I know I have to master it. For the most part, considering it all.. I'm more patient than I lead myself to believe. Of course, only through retrospect do you see how patient you truly were. I think of past situations in my life, and I'm usually the more calm patient person of it, no matter who's involved.
So patient, it has come across quite often as me not caring.. Why? Because I don't rush what's not in my control and take care of what I can... Because I decide to make use of the time I gotta wait, to get other shit done.. I didn't forget but until its ready I'm gonna grab a few stones [RIP birds]
I practice the patience in getting through the day knowing I'm not where I'm supposed to be, and getting there is a journey on its own.. But, realistically, I'm anxious, I don't want to wait.. I know what I want, I want it now.
Now.
Why not now?.. If not now, when? ...
Oh I gotta wait huh? ..
Time will tell, I know I know..
I need the time to be on mine. At all times.
I mean patience is definitely key in obtaining whatever you want. I'm aware of how life works.. For the most part.. I'm still learning but patience.. Definitely comes in handy..
I don't like to give up, to give up means I still want it.. So if I let go. I don't want it anymore. Whatever I want I make it so I get it, the problem with that.. Depending on what it is that I want, if I wait too long.. I don't want it anymore. Now I'm feeling like it wasn't meant to be.. No way I would have to wait this long if it wasn't just to realize I don't really want this. Because when you really want something, you don't care how long you been waiting.. You anticipated this... This really what you want. If you look up like nah I'm waiting too long, it's time to go.
You in the wrong place.
Patient in the waiting room.
Think of patients in the waiting room.. If you haven't seen the irony in this scenario yet.. Lol
Several patients are staring at their phones, reading magazines, others are minglings with other patients complaining about the wait, talking about a bunch of nothing (or those rare conversations with strangers that just blossoms from a simple acknowledgment from both of you) some are getting some work done, might as well since we're here..
After registration, you have to wait for the nurse..
Wait...
The nurse checks you in, check your vitals.. the doctor will be with you shortly.
More waiting.
The doctor calls your name, gives you the run down, you good or no?
Give it to me straight doc..
You leave with your held high if you're good, continuning your life as such.. let it be bad, you're feeling lower than dirt... Ain't no sign of light (depending on your attitude).. you begin to wait for your demise. Even if you'll eventually get better.. You're not better now.
In life's waiting room.. You never know how good you're doing until the "doc" calls you in.. But ironically while you wait affects how good or bad you're doing.. Think of two patients, one is reading a book for deeper understanding of an unknown topic.. The other is sleeping.
Already the difference in how they choose to wait... Expanding your mind vs. Catching up on sleep. Regular battle among many.
The doctor calling Mr. Sleepy but after a third calling, he called the next person.. Mr. Bookworm?.. Now, not only is he more enlightened, he's closer to finishing his book and his wait is now cut short because the one waiting before him, wasn't ready. He was, now he can get on with his day with a little extra time..
We all love extra time.
Life is a waiting room, that regularly makes us wait for things and people.. But how we wait, determines if during the wait, did you waste your time.. Even when things are out of your control, you can always control how you react to it.. What you did while you were waiting? .. please dont let it be nothing. We choose how we wait.. choose wisely.. Be patience, but practice too.. Patience takes practice, practice makes perfect.
Patience allows you to fill in blanks.. Life blanks where we don't know what's going on.. or what's awaiting ahead.. Patience allows you to accept life's way of making you wait.. You're gonna feel pain, suffering, tragedy.. It's truly life. At times where the wait is unbearable.. But patience will tell you, relax... This too shall pass. Sure enough it does, and if we're observant enough of the tragedy at hand, we can assure we don't feel that pain too often.. If at all.
Life man..
The people and things that it brings. we won't always see it coming, but we can't deny that it's here... Don't let now catch you off guard.. Now is all we have. End up like Mr. Sleepy now you gotta wait longer.. Now showed up, you was sleeping.
Stay sleep if you want. I like to be awake.
Awake and aware.
I'm aware I'm gaining more patience, but that's only cause I've been practicing.. I haven't seen the results I'm looking for yet.. But the fact I don't stop practicing tells me, I'm taking the wait better than I think.
I used to think I was wasting my time, and in some aspects I was right.. But in others I couldn't be more wrong..maybe I had to feel like I was wasting my time to really take my time.. Utilizing of MY time, my time in control.. I can't spin life clocks to what time I need it to be.. Lord knows I wish I could (do I really? Hm).. But I can't. So I gotta take my time, the little I get.. In the sense of what I can control for now and stretch it or shape it for the next time I gotta wait.. The wait is the perfect time to get to work.. You don't have anything else to do but wait.. Might as well do something progressive in the meantime..
Make that wait worthwhile..
All while perfecting your craft with practice and the patience to keep you going.
Shit real.
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