I never been one to vocalize my morals, I couldn't even write out what I feel are ALL my morals, but I do know.. I have a very specific set of them. I realized how embedded they were in me, as each of them were tested. Ironically.
I think about morals, how we all have them, and how they define us as people. I also think how morals are only as good as those who abide by them. So if you and I share a different set of morals, neither of us are wrong. We're living how we believe we should. People are more judging than understanding, we feel everyone should be like us, live like us.. But everyone is not us. We're all different.
I'm very stubborn, I don't bend my morals for anyone.. For anything. Even in cases where it would be beneficial to tweak said moral for whatever reason, I don't. I just don't budge.
Am I really stern or just a fool?
I wonder that sometimes, I wonder this when I'm being tested, morals and all and I'm just like nope. Nope. I won't do it. Even if it leaves me in the dark.. Which it has in the past. But the thing about that is, I never stay in the dark too long anyway.. Maybe that's why I don't mind being left in the dark. The dark doesn't scare me.
In times of desperation and struggle.. Morals can go out the window, I've witnessed this on many occasions. I, myself had an experience with that as well.. But when the dust settles, and reality is facing you.. Your morals are back, but the choices you made while they were gone, are still there. Now you feel like shit.. Or the shit hits the fan and you feel worse than shit.. You wonder where your mind was at, why your logic was clouded and who the fuck told your morals they had the day off?
Was it worth it? Was belittling your character worth it? It never is. If you have to compromise who you are, what you believe in or stand for to move along in life, you devalue yourself, even if you did it for yourself.. You still have to deal with the consequences, whether its mental, physical, spiritual. Whatever. Either way, it's not worth it.
People will try to convince you that your morals aren't that serious, that bending your "rules" is fine.. Nothing but a thing. You must keep in mind, their morals may differ from yours. Anything you don't feel comfortable doing, you shouldn't. Especially if you have a choice.
I live in NY, and out here morals are just as questionable as the presence of father figures around town.. Now morals are subjective, I can't belittle someone's morals because I don't favor them, it's their morals. But a lot of morals that the youth around me has and aren't shy about vocalizing, are very questionable, to me.
I don't observe to judge, I observe to understand. So I try to understand why certain morals exist now more than ever. I observe my surroundings, and my surroundings vary.. I like to explore different settings. And I notice a lot. I understand why some move the way they do, sca(red) of being hurt or used so they do the hurting and using.. I don't think that's the right way to go about it. But again, I can't tell others how to live. Those whose morals are based on preying on the hurt and weak... Smh. Then you have those that by any means they gonna get it how they live it. And depending on how they get it, it's not always the right way, to me ... But it's right to them. So who am I to say otherwise.
I can say, that I am very aware of all the 'options' I can take advantage of, people as well.. But my morals, my character doesn't move like that. It really doesn't sit right with me. I've been called stupid on many occasions, "girl, the way you look, how people treat you.. You can have anything and everything you want, like that *snaps*" and it's like, really? You think so? Cause I don't. I don't like deceiving, I don't like to pretend. And although I'm VERY aware many like to deceive and pretend, it doesn't change how I feel. It doesn't change how I move, except how I avoid those types.
"It doesn't matter how you get it, it's what you do with it.. That defines you" (Gavin from 666 park ave. loveee that show, even though I'm late)
I really thought about it, does it really matter how you get it if you got it? If you know what to do with it, how you got it doesn't matter?... I really thought about it and picked it apart .. I guess it depends on what it is, no? It varies. Certain cases it might not matter how you got it, what you did with it matte(red) more. But some cases, how you got it is more important than what you did with it.. Especially if you're not too proud of how you got it, or not too proud of what you did with it...
This where morals come in, that deciding factor.
When considering 'IT'; You think of how to get it, and what to do with it. And you come up with your own way to go about it.. It should usually be something you're proud of. I don't believe in being ashamed in anything you do, if you know what you're doing. If you're doing what you want.. What's there to be ashamed of? No matter how bad you want something, I'm pretty sure you can go about it your way without compromising your morals, it may take longer... The shortcuts are tempting and some moral bending, but the peace of mind in getting what you want, and staying true to yourself is euphoric. At least I like to think so.
I feel in todays era, my generation specifically many don't care how they come up as long as they do. That's fine.. For them, but for me the come up is just as important as me being up. When my story is told, I don't want to be ashamed of anything, and I don't want any holes poked in my story. I live my life to my standards, I do what I feel is right for me. No one else. Who I am, how I choose to live allows me to move with a little ease.. I know my intentions. Although my circumstances aren't what I want them to be, I don't feel the need to compromise who I am to get where I need to go.
Moral of the story; stay true to yours. Their yours for a reason. Everything ain't for everybody.. Know yourself.
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