People look at you and imagine how you sound, the way you speak, your tone.. And when you actually hold a conversation with them you either were what they imagined, or you're not. I'm usually not. My tone, my remarks, my choice in words are nothing that they could've imagined, how do I know? Their face tells it every time. Plenty of conversations where I'm cut off mid sentence, "I didn't expect you to speak like that" .. Lol I'm assuming its a combination of how I speak, my body language and their comprehension of what's really happening..
You can't talk to just anybody about any thing. You know that right? Some conversations will go way over heads or right under the table. That's why we enjoy those people who literally everything is eye level and on the table in conversation. But language, sometimes gets lost in translation.
So in those moments we're still on the same page by the end of our conversation, it's like reading a book together, and now you're done.. You feel like you left with something, a story, a new outlook on something, a more advanced idea of an existing idea and someone was there that entire time, making it even more real..(yay, a witness, lol) Just great. Wonderful, wouldn't life just be so grand if we we're all on the same page?
But language, it's funny at times.. We can both speak the same language literally and you still can interpret what I said as something other than how I meant it. Either more positive, or negative, more general or personal, uplifting or degrading ... Sometimes you can't even call it, but you feel some type of way. Why?
Let me break down language and the levels to this shit. Lol
Level 1. Vocal language.
Literally the words that are coming out of your mouth, your tone of voice as well.
Basic level of language. This is by far the easiest, learning how to speak is elementary, once you grasp that, you're able to communicate with those that speak your language. It only gets advanced, (this is where most get lost in translation) when emotions alter tone in vocal language. See, you could be speaking clearly, directly, and make all the sense in the world.. But if your tone is off, shit can real. Everything you just said got wrecked by the train of your tone. You didn't even mean it the way it came off.. But your emotions couldn't hide how you really felt. People tend to lie about tone so much it's crazy, instead of just saying, yes, I do feel this way but I've been wanting to address this for a while. No, a new conversation will proceed in regards to tone and blame, and everything that has nothing to do with what was said, but how it was said. Depending on the parties involved determines how bad that ends.
And FYi, sometimes, there is no tone. The words are enough. That's what you're working with. Go with that. Some people like to travel down 'de Nile' river in hopes to avoid what was clearly said.. They imagine a sarcastic tone, 'nah they weren't serious, hahaha(crazy laugh) silly them'.. And it's like, come on.. Don't do that to yourself. Accept it for what it is.
If you're like me whose voice is often monotone, you have to coordinate your words accordingly.. Your tone will always fool people, so the words have to stick.. And maybe that's why I have an extensive, ever-growing vocabulary. You know how many words fit situations a thousand times better than the generic word for the term; the variation of that generic word specifies the situation, making it easier to understand where you're coming from. But if you generalize or wrongfully specify the situation, signals will almost always get crossed.
Choose your words accordingly.
It's not so much watching what you say; when you speak, you're speaking to be understood, remember that.
Level 2. Body language.
The way you move, react to yourself, others, varies in setting, on person and situation..
My favorite. I love that shit because the body doesn't speak in a voice, but with moves and it's fun decoding it. The quicker I get it, it's like entering a new level on a game. Once you understand a person's simple set dynamic, body language is more than obvious. We all have a simple set dynamic.. It's different, duh, but it's same in simplicity. Learning a person is fun, body language tells you the most, and the body will always tell you if the words are a lie. (even if you want the words to be a lie and body language reveals it true, the fact that the words are being made a lie should ring an alarm) body language is most discreet of the language, most either don't notice it.. Or worse, ignore it.
Nothing good has ever come from ignoring the body.
You don't have to do anything but pay attention... It's really that simple. You will pick up vibes as you go along.
Act accordingly.
Level 3. The highest level of all.....
Sign language.
Sign language is different. The language of the signs in your life is probably the most important one. Life signs will tell you if you're on to something, or wasting your time... If you're right or wrong.. If where you're headed is beneficial for you or not. If those in your life belong there or not.. And the signs are everywhere, but the comprehension skill to understand sign language is very rare.. Mainly cause many aren't aware.
Think of every 'sign' you ever felt you had in life and play all those known signs out like a story book of your life, signs was a character and he had dialogue. If you can visualize that, you're going to notice even more now in retrospect, than you did in the moment you were just happy enough to have caught the sign.. Sometimes you don't have body language or vocal language, just sign language, all these signs telling you what's up, you either on it or you're brushing it off because you can't understand signs. It's not an easy task, granted. But that's why it's even more crucial to know how to understand signs. To pay attention to what the world is trying to tell you, and move accordingly.
Anybody that has fell to a great demise, igno(red) sign language. And in the stories we read of these fallen heroes or villains, we always notice the decline, the beginning of the end.. How can we notice it in books or movies, but not in ourselves? Not with other people or situations that are clearly no good but we still fucking with it? Why? We ignore the signs. We're emotionally involved with this person, place or thing and we don't have eyes for anything other than what's in front of us, let alone the signs. But in books or movies, even if we become emotionally attached, we're aware of what's going on, we're trying to figure out what's going on as its happening. As opposed to real life, where we rarely even question things in the moment, but more often in retrospect. That's usually where we fuck up, questioning everything so vocally.. Creating a cloud of doubt to hover over us, raining on our possible parade.. Instead, be aware of the signs and collect them in a mental sense and as you go along you'll gain better understanding of what the signs meant. And you won't even have to ask questions.
Those 3 levels of language combined can alter how someone understands you.. Impression lies upon perception.. So as I mentioned, you can still be misunderstood. And that's fine.. As long as you know what you meant and were clear about it on your end. That comes from language of self. When you know yourself and you're in tuned with your mind, body, and soul.. All language levels are easy to set. You know how to express your self to be understood. And those that don't understand, you don't bother to speak to.. Not everyone is meant to understand each other. Once you understand that.. You won't harbor those that don't understand you, you'd move on to those that do. Self language is key before even entering the world and the levels of language. Self language is like the core of language. If you don't know yourself, how can anyone else? You don't even know how to interpret what you feel so how could I ever really know if that's how you really feel? The worst thing you can do is have someone fake figure you out before you do. You need to know yourself.
Take me for instance, I know myself. In and out. Flaws and all. I know when and how to address something, I know how to say what I need to say without inflicting unsettled emotion in my tone.. I know myself well enough to pick and choose when I want to speak.. I know well enough to know when I don't know enough to speak.. Who to speak to, who to avoid, little shit like that makes allllllll the difference in my conversations with people.. I don't have arguments, I rarely raise my voice.. Yet my point gets across every time. If the words don't, the body language will and the signs I leave afterwards seal the deal.
When I speak, I like for who I'm speaking to, to feel me.. Feel me?
If not what's the point, really?
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