Day 7.

7. That time you hit the snooze button too many times... 

I hate to be late. Doesn't mean I'm never late.. Better late than never, never late is better right? There's been plenty of times I hit snooze on alarms on life and on my phone... Never does me any good. I just prolong it. Which is more annoying than anything. 

The reason I press snooze is never good enough to make up for my procrastination if anything it just pushes me back... Those extra "5 minutes" of rest are never worth it. They end up costing me "20 minutes"... So I stopped pressing snooze. I set the alarms ahead of time now.. More like a reminder to start waking up, and no I don't press snooze.. When it's time it's time. I don't need any extra sleep, I've been sleeping for far too long.. In more than one sense. 

I have to be fully awake. Even if I doze off, once that alarm rings.. Instead of pressing snooze... I just go.

Shit real.

What else new? 

But it's just some things on my mind... 

I don't try to rush things, all in due time I remind myself but I can't deny that I'm curious as to where things are gonna go with certain situations/people. I just try to pay as close attention as I can to the signs.. I'm pretty good at that. It often shows that I do, people always seem to notice. 

Things are changing as always, and I just seem to be getting better thankfully. I'm almost ready. I feel it. These next two weeks I'm going to do everything in my power to make something I been dying to do, come true. I have all the pieces minus one or two, I just need to put them together. This project is very crucial to my master plan and the time is approaching. 

Speaking of approaching, people don't know how crucial the approach is in every human interaction. I noticed this, and am constantly reminded of this. Everybody doesn't react to things the same way you do. Everyone isn't going to like your approach. See me, watch how you approach me, depending on how you approach me determines how I treat you. Especially if you're approaching me inquiring about something. I'm very cautious on how I approach people because humans are easily offended. So easy to rub a stranger the wrong way if you act too familiar or too strange. I approach people based on how I read them. And in doing so it always works in my favor .. Pay a little attention, approach accordingly. 

Idk man, shit is real. 

And it's only getting realer. 

Day 6.

6. I spent my first paycheck on...

Honestly, I don't remember probably blew it in Victoria's Secret's pink section I was kinda obsessed with it when I was 17 .. I remember working at McDonald's my first job, so cliche right? Lol 

Anywho, thinking about this question made me think about all the paychecks I've received since then, and I clearly don't value money. I mean I value what I can obtain with it but the actual dollar? No. I spend it like I got a money machine at home. I buy whatever I want if I can afford it. I mean money is meant to be spent right? I'm trying to learn how to save but lord knows.... 

I've accumulated alot of money throughout my 4 years of working (various occupations, various wages) and if I would've saved it.. I would be balllingggg. Lmao nah not really but I could do a couple things with the money that would benefit me way more than all the material things I purchased with it.

As I get older, I'm becoming more wiser with my money.. I'm not as careless as I once was. I mean I still don't value it as much as people tell me I should.. I still suck at saving but I'm getting better. I try to make my paychecks count for something... So I don't get left with nothing. 

Day 5.

5. That awkward moment you outgrow your childhood best friend. 

I'm not one to have many friends, associates, yes. Friends no. I'm very private about my life and only a select few I allow in. And once you're in. You're in. If you out. There's no coming back. 

In 5th grade I met a girl who would become my best friend .. Sister even. Laverne to my Shirley. We would go to  each others house, pick each other up to go to school we were in the same classes in middle school.. Even in high school when we went to different schools, we still were close, closer even .. Everywhere I was, she was and vice versa. It was very rare you would see one without the other. We would rarely argue, our most heated disputes would be a difference in opinion on some topic, but nothing crazy. 

Then I went to college. I was excited, she seemed excited for me. She stood in the city while I embarked on a new journey. Now for those of you who never been away at college, time is different. College time seems like a lifetime. In my first two weeks alone I felt like I was there for two months. So in my two years away I've learned so much about myself and others .. My friends back home didn't visit me often while I was at school. Once or twice. But I understood, they had their own lives and jobs to tend to. We still kept in contact thanks to technology. Fast forward to when I came home.

My roommates earned a special place in my heart, I love those girls. We went through alot good and bad in our time at school, we lived together.. We grew extremely close. As a matter of fact, we're still very close. Anyway, I'm back home catching up getting readjusted to the city life, me and my bestfriend were still at it. I would include her in any activities with my "school friends" (as she would call them later on, which would annoy me) most times she would be down for the fun or not. I started noticing that the more I would try to include her she would exclude herself. She started finding reasons not to like them.. Okay cool. Here's where shit got real. 

We were at a friends house, and we were having a conversation.. And her comment on the topic threw me off. I looked at her like, what? It was what she said and how she said it, I knew I was in denial about this friendship. I knew we wouldn't be friends for long after that comment. It was just so negative and ignorant. And I looked at her wondering if she was always this negative. And she was. I never noticed because I swore I was positive enough for the both of us, she was more half empty, I was more half full. I thought as we got older she would become more positive. But she didn't. She actually got worse. Her attitude was disgusting. Everything was wrong, everyone always doing funny shit in her eyes.. Every fucking thing was a problem. And it became annoying. She had a temper as well. And soon she started lashing out at me, we began getting into more arguments about petty shit. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't that I was changing, we were getting older and there's so much more to see than just the hood. But she was so closed minded she couldn't grasp that. She started blaming my "school friends" for my behavior and the reason our friendship was on the rocks. When in reality, they had nothing to do with it. Everything I wanted to do, she was more than welcomed.. But her insecurities never allowed her to just come.. Her insecurities within herself made her delusional to the fact that I wanted to expand my horizons and have her there with me. But I was doing funny shit in her eyes. And I realized how selfish she was, everything was about her. I realized how jealous she was, jealous of me having other friends besides her. (In 9th grade we had a similar scenario when I befriended another best friend, who is still very much my friend today) her selfishness was the ultimate decision as to why I decided to end the friendship. 

For her birthday, I contacted an associate of mine who promotes at clubs.. He got me, her and our friend in at a strip club, VIP the works. This was her first time at the strip club she been wanting to go, she was my best friend.. Lets make it happen. We were having fun for the most part but at the end, shit got real. And all her concern was to make it home to her boyfriend. Disregard the fact I was extremely upset and she knew why, but did that phase her? Nope. Okay cool. I was pretty down and stressed that week. All her concern was, her. She didn't care about me or my problems. And it baffled me because I was always the first one to help her solve hers, I was the one she would come to when she needed to vent or advice. We got into our final argument (where I expressed how I didn't want parts of this friendship anymore) and she was furious, her true colors showed. She was cursing, threatening me talking all kinds of shit. Now this didn't phase me because I knew her better than she knew me. I knew she was hurt and this was her outlet. I knew she didn't know me as well as she thought, the moment she thought I was doing funny shit. I NEVER do funny shit to those I call my friends. Never did, never will. Here's my thing, she never wanted to talk about what was bothering her, she would avoid it. Act like its nothing but the minute I decided to end this friendship, half the truth came out. And only because she was angry. Clearly I made the right decision. I'm one to vocalize my concerns or troubles especially with friends, I expect the same from them. None of us are mind readers.

Thanks to social networks, I was proven that I was indeed right about ending our friendship. See, we probably could've overcame our differences and maybe have been friends again .. But now, nope. She was pregnant, she took it upon herself to take it to Instagram (she blocked me but we have mutual friends) to bash me. She painted this picture to people that we weren't friends because she was pregnant. -_- yeah, because your pregnancy is such a burden in my life I can't be bothe(red) with you. Lmaooo mad fucking petty. It didn't stop there, she would throw shots and subs about me, and when people asked her why we wasn't friends anymore or what happened, she made me out to be a bitch. And that's not a friend. Til this day I never speak ill of her, when I'm asked why we aren't friends I say, people grow apart or some stupid generic line about people growing apart so they can leave me alone. But for her to portray me in such a way that would have people looking at me funny was wrong. You don't do that to someone who you called a best friend, a sister.. And she wasn't worthy of a friend like me, I never throw anything I do for my friends back in their face. Shit I don't even bring it up. So for her to disregard every thing I've done every time I've been there when she needed me irritated the shit out of me, it shows she took me for granted. Wasn't appreciative of the friend she had in me. And If I'm such a bitch, if I'm so fucking selfish we don't need to be friends right? Right. 

Recently, I've been contacted through several friends on how they see her posting things about me and how she miss our friendship and she wish she could go back to the old days blah blah blah. Oooooh! I'm no longer a selfish bitch? I thought I wasn't shit? Lmao what happened? I called it though. I knew she would want to be friends again but her actions after we had our falling out is the reason I won't let her back in. A mutual friend to both of us hit me a few months ago asking if she could give her my number, just to clear the air because her delusion and my reality of the situation between us needed clarity, I chose to be the bigger person, despite me being fine with the circumstances, I definitely didn't need closure. But I told her it was fine.. She could give her my number. She has yet to call. And I know why, because in contacting me she would have to admit alot of things about herself that she may not be ready to admit. And that's fine. Whatever. I just know, I don't miss the friendship. The memories are fond and still close to my heart, I will always wish her well in all aspects and I pray she becomes a better person. But as far as us being friends? I just don't see it. 

It sucks because we were really good friends but sometimes that's the way the cookie crumbles. 

Day 4.

4. I love/hate twitter because .....

I have this weird relationship with twitter. I love twitter. I hate twitter. I'll never leave twitter. No seriously, I'll probably never delete my account. I joined back in '09 a little before it changed and the beginning of what it has become was slowly brewing. Twitter today, is a social circus for the most part. Mainly because the world has caught on to how powerful twitter is. But there's ways to filter it. So it's fine I suppose. 

I love twitter because.... I can tweet whatever I want and it has become a thought catalog for my randomness and thoughts that never holds much value until I forget about them and someone RTs it from their favorites and I'm like oh shit, I said that? I was on to something. I love my followers, I follow some very comical, interesting, thought provoking individuals. I'm always laughing or thinking further in depth after glancing at my timeline. I love the connections twitter has made possible. I love how far a tweet can go, I love seeing conversations and relationships form between my followers that happen to follow each other as well. The promotional aspect of twitter that most use to further push their crafts in a non annoying factor. (Ill explain the annoying factors in a few) I love the dots that twitter connects. Through a simple RT, a mention, a follow, a DM so much positivity has come from it. I have a tendency to ignore calls and texts, when I'm on twitter. Its not that twitter is more important, its just I gotta get these tweets off and texting and talking just interrupts me. Being that I've been on twitter for a long time and I never really abandoned it and returned like alot of people I know.. I've been very observing of how it has evolved since I first logged on. Alot of people have use twitter as their platform and have been very successful since. Alot of people have found themselves on twitter, some created themselves .. Not always for the better. But those who have become better and it's documented  through twitter are good in my book. They're proof that people can change and that it takes time. Shit is real.

*disclaimer: the following things I hate about twitter I rarely deal with because I've filte(red) my timeline, got rid of all the bullshit but, thanks to the power of a RT.. Sometimes the bullshit slips right on to my timeline.* 

I hate twitter because... 

People who are attention seekers use this social network to gain as much attention as possible. It's annoying. They tweet about anything for the sole purpose of being RT'd or mentioned... Women do it in hopes of getting chose, men do it for the love of the hoes. Tweeting for reactions instead of just getting these tweets off like the rest of us. The women who are just sex experts and perfect women, yet lonely as ever. The men who bash these women yet chase after women like them in the streets like both these women aren't the same. The groups of people who brag so much about how great they are and what they think and how their thoughts are just way better than others because their opinions are facts once they press send. Those promoters that constantly send you links to their work, like 1. I didn't ask for this 2. You're being annoying now this the 5th link you sent me now I don't wanna click it at all. 3. It's always people that neverrrrrr speak to you but begging you to check out their work.. Fuck out my face. Oh, those people who feel the need to comment on every little thing.. Like did I really ask you? And those that get mad you igno(red) their comment to something that didn't need commentary .. And it's like, I thought you just wanted to get that off your chest.. You're expecting a response as well? Sheesh. You're asking for a lot. Those that ask for a follow back.. Um. No. Don't ask me to follow you back, don't tell me to follow you back. I don't like to be told what to do. People who I know personally in life but on twitter they're a different person. Which makes me wonder who's who? If tweets come from the mind, then your twitter account is your mind. No? Where these tweets coming from, if its not you?.. Your personality off twitter can't be real, your tweets will reflect that to a degree. No? Those "it's just twitter" types are annoying. It's not just twitter, when all someone has to base who you are, are your tweets. And yes you can say whatever you want. But in that freedom of speech, you pay for how you're viewed. You're painting the picture for us, a mental picture of how your mind works using twitter. Those who use twitter to put on maury inspi(red) shows, not realizing they're just embarrassing themselves. Oh I hateeeee argumentative twitter. I stay the fuck away from them. They wanna argue about every fucking thing and call it a debate. Debate this, why you care so fucking much? It's obvious you care you won't shut up about it. It's very annoying. But thankfully there's an unfollow and a block button.. And a mute button for the overly sensitive people who notice and care when you unfollow them. 

Speaking of, I love twitter more than I hate it.. I like to tweet and read tweets. Here's the thing though, I don't give a fuck about followers, idc who follows me and who doesn't. If I genuinely like your tweets I'll follow you. You don't have to follow me back, that's not gonna make me dislike your tweets, won't stop me from mentioning or RT'ing you. There's plenty of times I mentioned people on twitter and I don't get a response. It doesn't bother me bc I tweet to get it off my chest not for a response. I don't feel obligated to follow people back off the strength that they follow me.. What your tweets like? Lol that determines everything. Twitter has become this cyber highschool where everybody wants to be apart of the "cool crowd". And I don't care for any parts of it. I don't tweet for approval, I never needed acceptance from you outsiders (Rick Ross grunt) I just play the cut like I do in real life. Twitter is more of an enjoyable experience to me that way. 

– @OohCrissy