Images of women; II - Women Becoming.

We're half way through 2013 .. 

A lot has changed, alot is changing. 

Especially in the progression of women. Half for the better, half for the worse. 

Lets start with the bad, 

Now in today's society we have two types of females; females that are progressing and females that are destructive. 

The destructive female. 

Any female that isn't working towards building, is destroying. Family, personal, business. As females we have the power to build and create something meaningful not just to those around us, but for us. It makes sense, the sense of fulfillment we get when we finish what we started and see our seeds sprout into beautiful plants, in all aspects. 

Now some females are broken internally. Some aren't aware, some are but are just too hurt to fix it. Either way this is a problem. These type of women indulge in things strictly for themselves, and no one else. Not for positive reasons anyway. They don't contribute to society, all they do is wreck it. Here's why, the men they prey on are left with a distorted view of women after them. The people who extend a hand always gets their hand bitten so they're timid of lending a hand after them. The children who are used as a pawn and a liability are confused to what's real and what's all apart of a scheme. Trust issues all around the board. Views of life and people so fucked up because mommy dearest was a total selfish bitch. 

Destructive women never look back. If they did, they would notice the sight of all the damage they've caused and would change their way of living, leaving her trailblazer past of destruction behind her (she can change, once she's aware). But usually she's not. She's usually finding closure for everything that's occu(red) in her life everywhere except where she needs to look, inside herself. Most walk around with this sense of entitlement due to these emotional reparations they feel they deserve from everyone who encounters them. It's not right. 

Let me be clear, I don't care what's your profession, how you live, how much material possessions you own, how well you take care of your kids. That doesn't mean anything if you're internally destructive. There's plenty of women who are in power and have it all together but themselves. They're still destructive, they hurt everyone around them but themselves. And sure in the end, they suffer the most for their ways but so are alot of lives that shouldn't have been this negatively affected by a woman. Granted we accept what we allow, so we must hold a sense of self accountability when dealing with women of that nature.. But realistically, some women have that effect. The destructive play Damsel in distress very well.. The destructive never seems to be destructive until the time bomb go off. It's a matter of being aware and not ignoring the signs, if there's nothing visible.. There's signs visible. Check for them. 

The worst part of the destructive female is the fact they make it harder for the genuine progressive female in alot of aspects. Fuck the fact that being a female is hard enough already but now we have to dodge these hurt men and constantly prove ourselves to be genuine because of the destructive impostors. And some have never seen genuine so when they do, it's so frightening they assume destruction is the fate of this encounter. I can't blame them, hard to recognize real when you've been surrounded by illusions of it for so long.  

But we're out here. Oh trust we're out here. I include myself in the category of women progressing because I'm far from destructive, in fact I'm the opposite. My trail leaves behind better people even if we've parted ways. I choose to empower  those I'm around instead of tearing them down to build myself up as destructive women tend to do. 

Progressive women are just that. Progressive. In all aspects, they're bettering themselves and others. They look for ways to be a better person, a better contributor to their loved ones and society. They aren't trying to get ahead while pushing others behind them in the process, they aren't stepping on toes but instead trying to step up together with those around them. Nurturing and providing a stable foundation to truly prosper. And today, I couldn't be happier  seeing women progress like this. Empowering our youth through success and still embodying everything a women should be. Still a lady about your movements, while moving like a boss. Bravo.

These women show us, you can have your business and your family. Society has this conception embedded in us that we can't have both. But we can, if we want it. Some want one more than the other, aren't really honest about it. They either yearn for what they lack because they lack it or they chose the wrong thing to pursue and now realize it. Because we can create life, I personally believe women are unstoppable. I mean we bleed for days consecutively every month but yet we live... What can't we really do? Mind over matter ladies. 

We are extremely powerful. Especially today. Society has all these options laid out for us, it's on us to go get it. And realistically.. Because we're females we can get it a little bit faster.. Depending on how you move and your intentions. Keep in mind your intentions can launch you forward or pull you back. Doors will get open for you, you're a female. There's plenty who want to help us get ahead. The doors will be opened, whether you choose to walk through is ultimately on you.. And who you are determines whether you get to stay or it's just a temporary visit. Whether its to stay or just a visit, ensure you take all you can without having to use your hands to take it. But so much you can hold in them, the mind doesn't have a capacity. 

As women we do have to take advantage of everything that makes us women in the most positive and progressive manner.. For the betterment of you as a whole. A better you is not only beneficial to you but everyone around you. People feed off a strong woman. A sure woman. A good woman. It's the way of the world.

As a woman, your daily objective should be on what you're becoming, your route there.. And keeping an eye on who you are during this process. Making sure you glance back, not to dwell but to make sure you didn't leave anything behind. Stepping forward with pride and a smile. Because the woman you're becoming, is everything you want to be. That's how it should be. Right? 

Right. 

Get with it or stay lost.

Understand.

Many don't. They only understand what they want to, what they're willing to accept. Anything outside of their comprehension level is just disregarded. Most don't even bother to wrap their minds around things they can't .. Excuse me, refuse to understand. 

Can't is a state of mind.

Comprehension is a dying trait.. It's not embedded enough. Such a shame since its key in communication. It all starts with reading and in the words of a good friend of mine, motherfuckers can't read. Sure you can read words, but do you read what they're saying, what they mean.. Many don't. They don't see past the print and in turn they lose out on the message. 

I've been reading since first grade, books and people. I was so ahead of my class I was helping other kids with their reading skills, I understand words and people very well. I've always had a high level of comprehension. 

Many don't realize that, due to my advanced level of understanding on just about any and everything is the reason I get along so well with people despite me being reserved and slightly antisocial (I'm getting better at that) I get it. Alot of things aren't hard to understand, we just complicate things by trying to add other variables that aren't relevant to the problem nor solution. I understand that. I understand that so well I help others remove these unnecessary variables and understand the equation at hand. Just cause you don't like the answer doesn't make it any less right. Just because you don't understand why, doesn't mean it's wrong. Remember that. 

I understand that many don't understand.. And they are more that don't understand then those that do. I get that. Too many closed minds, not enough open ones. Cool. But what I hate (I know hate is a strong word but I stand by my choice of word) is when my understanding ability is underestimated. 

Understand this; you can never assume what one is capable of understanding and failing to understand this is a big NO NO. (To me at least) to make that choice for me, like I'm inadequate to comprehend a situation is extremely insulting. To assume, only makes an Ass of you, not me. And in that same note, it turns me all the way off.. Idc who you are. Many don't understand that. They can't understand why I get so furious when I'm lied to, like I can't understand the truth. When my choice is made for me, like I can't understand my options. Like I don't know what's best for me. 

I do understand this, many who make these choices and create these lies in fear of being misunderstood are selfish. They understand the downside to the choices and the truth.. And they won't take the chance to have you pick what they fear most.. Which is funny because in my opinion.. That fear, those actions following that fear are the reason many leave.. The main reason I leave, obviously you're in this for yourself.. You're making decisions for me and not realizing that your lack of understanding me is hurting you more than anything. 

I was at this bar the other night, and I was talking to this guy.. He was cool, nice conversation, life, relationships etc..he stopped me and said .. You really the truth, many don't realize that in relationships, understanding is just as important as everything else. And it's funny cause I just assumed that was normal, I assumed everyone understood that. And they don't. And to hear him say that, made me realize that's the problem with not only relationships.. But life in general. Most altercations and fall outs are through misunderstandings.. So how can this be avoided? I mean shouldn't that be our concern? To gain understanding through life and expanding our understanding tank? I sure think so. 

But lets be real for a second, most misunderstandings stem from miscommunication.. Because we assume the other doesn't "get it"/understand alot of things are left unsaid. In fear of getting our emotions misunderstood, we choose silence. Leaving the other to come to an understanding of their own. Usually very deluded and vague due to original confusion mixed with silence which we associate with not caring more often than not. And I mean, can you blame them? Often, we don't do our part in providing clarity.. Which is key in understanding. Hard to confuse anything when it's provided in its clearest form. But sometimes, things aren't even as clear to us, so how can we truly provide clarity? We're confused our damn selves. I understand. It's hard sometimes. 

But the effort in trying to understand and the effort in trying to be understood is more than enough. I say that, once effort is being shown, effort from the other side is put forth. It all depends on how bad do you want to understand or be understood. 

Once you understand that, there's not many things you won't understand. 

Shit real.

I just wanna be successful like the song says.. 

The game needs change and I'm the motherfucking cashier. — And I've done my calculations and I know exactly how much change it needs. 

Cause I'm the one to paint a vivid picture no HD.. Yeah, I want it all, That's why I strive for it. Diss me and you'll never hear a reply for it, Any awards show or party I'll get fly for it, I know what's coming I just hope I'm alive for it.

He be knowing. He really do. And it relates so much more with each listen.. Time is evident of that message. And I read it like like a contract with my name on it. I know what's coming to me.. I'm just preparing myself for what I can and as I progress I'll be able to prepare even more .. 

Shit is real though. As always, and things are definitely on the up.. Or I just refuse to look down.. But I'm rising, I feel it. I just act accordingly. 

And life change for me every single week,

So it's good, but I know this ain't the peak though. 

Shit real though.

One.

We're all looking for the one. 

What for, it varies. 

In search of the One, isn't really much of a search for me.. I feel he'll find me when needed, and if he has found me.. He'll step up when needed. I just keep my eyes, ears and soul open. I feel I come across the one for the night, the one for some time.. The one who teaches me a lesson, and the one who is everything but a blessing. I don't sweat it. I don't belittle those "one" they serve their purpose as needed.

I thought I found the one. The actual, One. The one who when pressed up against me we became one instead of two, as the other ones have created in the past. I don't want to be two. I want to be one.

See I'm not looking for a partner. I'm looking for my reflection. The one who when I look up at him he's me in the flesh, our souls connecting making us one.. The reflection in him makes me better which in turn makes him better simultaneously. I love Mirrors by Justin Timberlake so much, he truly knows the essence of 'the one'. That song says it all.

Back to the one though, how do you know when you've found the one? For me, I feel like the connection is well rounded: mental, sexual, spiritual. The one for me is one who I can be me and more. I feel connected and in tuned with his emotions, thoughts.. His touch sparks a fire through out my body that he's the only one who can put it out, and started it up again. I've felt it before. But what determines if he's really the one.. Is how long that feeling lasts.. Like I said some are the one for the night, or some time. It varies. Some aren't the one at all.. They aren't a factor. I don't even bother with those. Once you know yourself, you know who's definitely not the one off first meeting alone.

The recent one I thought was the one.. Let me be completely honest, I still think he might be the one.. But our timing must be wrong if he is, and if he isn't. Time will show me that. I held his hand.. For a long time. And my palms were not sweaty. They were dry as hell. I didn't even realize, one, we were holding hands that long and two, that my palms were fucking dry. I have alot of moisture in my body lol so my palms sweat at the randomest (don't care if that's not a word) times and I hate holding hands because of this. But I let him hold mine. And it threw me for a loop... I already had a nagging suspicion that he could greatly be the one to complete me, and then he pulls this shit on me. Lol I was a little open, confused.. But open. And then a series of events shortly after, confused the shit out of me and closed me up.

I'm far from bitter, I don't let the actions of men turn me off from searching for my one. I don't feel the need to scream all men ain't shit, I don't ever feel the need to "switch teams" my one is out there in the flesh of a man. A real man. And I'm patient enough in this aspect of my life because you can't rush that.. I certainly won't force that. As I become better and greater than I was the day before I know my one is on the same journey.. And our paths will continue to cross (if they haven't already, will cross) when the time is right. And when that day comes, I'll be more than ready to give myself to him as he will to me, and become the one we're meant to be. 

In the meantime.. I'll deal with the ones for some time.. The ones who come into my life, to fill whatever needs I have that they feel they can fulfill. But I'm the one that only deals with one. I'm the one who has no problem cutting off one to begin something with someone else. Because I'm the one looking for one, not two, not three, nothing of that multiple nature.

It's funny though, I deal with one at a time, but I know how to refrain from giving my all to that one if I'm not sure if that one is the actual one. Not everyone is understanding of that. Some don't understand that what I need more often than not isn't in form of a "serious relationship" (too much pressure put on that) but just a serious companion with flexibility. And it seems so hard to find, probably because most assume they know what you want based on what everyone else wants, and that's why I haven't found the one or the one hasn't figu(red) out I'm truly the one for him.. Yet.

Hmm.. 

Time.

Time reveals all, no? But I don't got the time to wait ..  I don't have much of a choice.. So in the mean time I have to make the most of my time, spend it wisely and be aware of my time. 

There's earth time - 24 hours in a day.

There's our time - our lifetime. 

See, some things go by earth time.. The world revolves around earth time, different time zones.. But time nonetheless. You gotta be at work by this time, you take a break at another time, you clock out at your designated time. You have an appt. by this time, you have an order being shipped by this date at this time. You have a date for this time, you have to make a call at that time.. and so on. Time is just something we humans created to ease our hypertension anxiety of infinity, forever is a long time .. Forever has no time. Forever doesn't exist .. Time doesn't exist. 

In our lifetime, there's things we won't ever fully understand until its meant for us to get it.. We have to let time run its course. As bad as we want an answer to a question about a person or a situation, we have to wait. We can't force it. We can't try to make our own understanding of it because we're not fully equipped with everything needed to make that conclusion .. The biggest factor, time .. Takes its time in revealing everything when needed. I don't mean 24 hour time, I mean life time. 

Because life doesn't run on a clock. Life doesn't have a curfew when to show up with everything you need. Life takes its time and sometimes that bitch is molasses slow. She's funny like that, forcing us to practice patience and constantly reminding us we don't have to rush, all in due time. Yet we as humans feel the need to rush and scramble to try to make sense of everything as we go along. And as bad as we want to make sense of everything. Life doesn't make sense.. Until we're done. Hindsight is 20/20, everything is clearer in the rear view. As we're speeding through life on man made time we are so confused and our vision is blur(red) .. With emotions, and half finished puzzles .. Scrambling to figure out the messages before time is up. But in reality, time is only up when you die.. Or when you decide that enough of your time has been spent on a particular situation or person .. But even then, life has a way of completing puzzles for us despite us walking away from it. 

Take movies and books for example.. The ending sums up the entire story.. By the end, there's clarity.. There's the light at the end of the tunnel. Only at the end is this revealed. The end of the story. We all have stories with a variety of things and people, you may have stopped reading them but doesn't mean the story is over.. You just got frustrated with confusion and let it go. Maybe you felt too much time was spent and not enough clarity for your liking.. Perfectly understandable. 

But let me tell you this, life will finish that story for you.. Because life has its own time that may not be as fast as your speed but life will catch up and show you what you were missing, show you what you couldn't see back then. And then, you're able to finish that story.. Close that book. And continue with your life.. And most times when life shows you what time it's on, you tend to slow down ... No need to rush when you know life is moving. 

And trust I know it's so hard to be patient, me and patience go at it almost every day but I keep cool.. I know she means best, my anxious nature makes it hard.. But I'm learning as time goes on. But time will reveal everything, time goes on.. And the end is when you die. Keep that in mind and you'll move differently. 

Now that's not an excuse to slack off and lose your sense of urgency, because  in this sense.. Time is out of your control. But with things that you have control of, the timing included with that control.. you must act on it and seize the opportunity. But have no fear.. Life got you.

Your life will reveal in its own time every purpose of every situation and person that enters and exits your life. It's always a reason, it's always a lesson. Always a blessing, even if its in a disguise that makes you sad or want to cry. It's life.

Patience is all that's needed with life time. And in your lifetime patience will definitely benefit you more than it will hurt you. In the mean time, use your time wisely and efficiently.. And with time that's not in your control, just make your wait useful and productive so you don't realize how long you have to wait. Life time doesn't have a clock you can stare at... So the wait feels like an eternity. 

Just be patient.