I re-read every post on here. I've changed, not so much .. but I've changed. I'm in a different place than I was previous posts ..
But I still have the same mind frame. Which gets me to thinking ....
What am I doing wrong?
Why haven't I reached my goals ..
I have so many I know, but why don't I seem closer to them?
I'm lazy.
I'm great with ideas but executing them? I get as nervous as a person flipping the switch for the first time in an execution chamber. I have all the drive in the world but I refuse to put it in Drive. I feel I'm in park. why? Do I not believe in myself enough? Am I too sca(red) of making change? Or am I sca(red) I won't be able to handle everything that comes with what I want to pursue?
I question myself about this constantly. As I try to figure things out. I learn more about myself every day and re-reading these posts and my entries in my notes app and cute ass journal, I realize I'm capable of so much.
But I don't do enough. I feel I know what I want, where I want to be, how far I wanna go and everything that I have to offer. I just don't know where to start. Of course whenever I feel progress I always get slapped with setbacks harder than Day Day & Craig's grandma in that commercial ( LMFAO *still hilarious* ) I used to let it discourage me, but now ..
I feel like these are just tests to see how bad I want these dreams and goals to manifest. I'm trying something new. real new. see where it gets me. You know what they say, "To get something you never had, You have to do something you never did" I'm going to force myself to be more bold. more assertive. I act like I have all the time in the world and I don't. Had I applied myself heavily three years ago, Lord knows where I'd be, shit probably half way through my goal list. Just bear with me
(Helloooo! is anybody out there? probably not)
I'm running a marathon with myself .. Let's see what I can accomplish in a month. I know, I know... what makes this time so different than the last? .. I'll show you.
But I still have the same mind frame. Which gets me to thinking ....
What am I doing wrong?
Why haven't I reached my goals ..
I have so many I know, but why don't I seem closer to them?
I'm lazy.
I'm great with ideas but executing them? I get as nervous as a person flipping the switch for the first time in an execution chamber. I have all the drive in the world but I refuse to put it in Drive. I feel I'm in park. why? Do I not believe in myself enough? Am I too sca(red) of making change? Or am I sca(red) I won't be able to handle everything that comes with what I want to pursue?
I question myself about this constantly. As I try to figure things out. I learn more about myself every day and re-reading these posts and my entries in my notes app and cute ass journal, I realize I'm capable of so much.
But I don't do enough. I feel I know what I want, where I want to be, how far I wanna go and everything that I have to offer. I just don't know where to start. Of course whenever I feel progress I always get slapped with setbacks harder than Day Day & Craig's grandma in that commercial ( LMFAO *still hilarious* ) I used to let it discourage me, but now ..
I feel like these are just tests to see how bad I want these dreams and goals to manifest. I'm trying something new. real new. see where it gets me. You know what they say, "To get something you never had, You have to do something you never did" I'm going to force myself to be more bold. more assertive. I act like I have all the time in the world and I don't. Had I applied myself heavily three years ago, Lord knows where I'd be, shit probably half way through my goal list. Just bear with me
(Helloooo! is anybody out there? probably not)
I'm running a marathon with myself .. Let's see what I can accomplish in a month. I know, I know... what makes this time so different than the last? .. I'll show you.
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