Images of women; II - Women Becoming.

We're half way through 2013 .. 

A lot has changed, alot is changing. 

Especially in the progression of women. Half for the better, half for the worse. 

Lets start with the bad, 

Now in today's society we have two types of females; females that are progressing and females that are destructive. 

The destructive female. 

Any female that isn't working towards building, is destroying. Family, personal, business. As females we have the power to build and create something meaningful not just to those around us, but for us. It makes sense, the sense of fulfillment we get when we finish what we started and see our seeds sprout into beautiful plants, in all aspects. 

Now some females are broken internally. Some aren't aware, some are but are just too hurt to fix it. Either way this is a problem. These type of women indulge in things strictly for themselves, and no one else. Not for positive reasons anyway. They don't contribute to society, all they do is wreck it. Here's why, the men they prey on are left with a distorted view of women after them. The people who extend a hand always gets their hand bitten so they're timid of lending a hand after them. The children who are used as a pawn and a liability are confused to what's real and what's all apart of a scheme. Trust issues all around the board. Views of life and people so fucked up because mommy dearest was a total selfish bitch. 

Destructive women never look back. If they did, they would notice the sight of all the damage they've caused and would change their way of living, leaving her trailblazer past of destruction behind her (she can change, once she's aware). But usually she's not. She's usually finding closure for everything that's occu(red) in her life everywhere except where she needs to look, inside herself. Most walk around with this sense of entitlement due to these emotional reparations they feel they deserve from everyone who encounters them. It's not right. 

Let me be clear, I don't care what's your profession, how you live, how much material possessions you own, how well you take care of your kids. That doesn't mean anything if you're internally destructive. There's plenty of women who are in power and have it all together but themselves. They're still destructive, they hurt everyone around them but themselves. And sure in the end, they suffer the most for their ways but so are alot of lives that shouldn't have been this negatively affected by a woman. Granted we accept what we allow, so we must hold a sense of self accountability when dealing with women of that nature.. But realistically, some women have that effect. The destructive play Damsel in distress very well.. The destructive never seems to be destructive until the time bomb go off. It's a matter of being aware and not ignoring the signs, if there's nothing visible.. There's signs visible. Check for them. 

The worst part of the destructive female is the fact they make it harder for the genuine progressive female in alot of aspects. Fuck the fact that being a female is hard enough already but now we have to dodge these hurt men and constantly prove ourselves to be genuine because of the destructive impostors. And some have never seen genuine so when they do, it's so frightening they assume destruction is the fate of this encounter. I can't blame them, hard to recognize real when you've been surrounded by illusions of it for so long.  

But we're out here. Oh trust we're out here. I include myself in the category of women progressing because I'm far from destructive, in fact I'm the opposite. My trail leaves behind better people even if we've parted ways. I choose to empower  those I'm around instead of tearing them down to build myself up as destructive women tend to do. 

Progressive women are just that. Progressive. In all aspects, they're bettering themselves and others. They look for ways to be a better person, a better contributor to their loved ones and society. They aren't trying to get ahead while pushing others behind them in the process, they aren't stepping on toes but instead trying to step up together with those around them. Nurturing and providing a stable foundation to truly prosper. And today, I couldn't be happier  seeing women progress like this. Empowering our youth through success and still embodying everything a women should be. Still a lady about your movements, while moving like a boss. Bravo.

These women show us, you can have your business and your family. Society has this conception embedded in us that we can't have both. But we can, if we want it. Some want one more than the other, aren't really honest about it. They either yearn for what they lack because they lack it or they chose the wrong thing to pursue and now realize it. Because we can create life, I personally believe women are unstoppable. I mean we bleed for days consecutively every month but yet we live... What can't we really do? Mind over matter ladies. 

We are extremely powerful. Especially today. Society has all these options laid out for us, it's on us to go get it. And realistically.. Because we're females we can get it a little bit faster.. Depending on how you move and your intentions. Keep in mind your intentions can launch you forward or pull you back. Doors will get open for you, you're a female. There's plenty who want to help us get ahead. The doors will be opened, whether you choose to walk through is ultimately on you.. And who you are determines whether you get to stay or it's just a temporary visit. Whether its to stay or just a visit, ensure you take all you can without having to use your hands to take it. But so much you can hold in them, the mind doesn't have a capacity. 

As women we do have to take advantage of everything that makes us women in the most positive and progressive manner.. For the betterment of you as a whole. A better you is not only beneficial to you but everyone around you. People feed off a strong woman. A sure woman. A good woman. It's the way of the world.

As a woman, your daily objective should be on what you're becoming, your route there.. And keeping an eye on who you are during this process. Making sure you glance back, not to dwell but to make sure you didn't leave anything behind. Stepping forward with pride and a smile. Because the woman you're becoming, is everything you want to be. That's how it should be. Right? 

Right. 

Get with it or stay lost.

Images of women; Woman on a pedestal.

Women have been held on pedestals since the creation of Eve. I mean if Adam didn't have Eve on a pedestal he wouldn't even conside(red) eating the fruit right? Why would he even consider her suggestion if he felt she was beneath him? Think about it. Today, the pedestal varies for women by men.. There's a few pedestals;

The Physical pedestal —physically appealing women are placed on this trophy like pedestal for no reason other than the obvious fact, they look good. Arm candy. Men will pamper these women and praise them because they know this type of woman is fueled by outer beauty and they won't let her tank ever touch E. they don't care to know what makes her tick.. What dreams or desires she harbors inside they just make sure you make all your vanity appointments and you're smiling ear to ear after a trip to the mall. 

Pros; what woman doesn't want to be pampe(red)? Shopping sprees and spa dates, feeling like the baddest bitch on the planet when you're done and not having to decrease your funds in the process. The trips and dates that come with this trophy package that you either weren't exposed to so you're enjoying it even more or you feel you're finally getting the treatment you deserve.. Life is just grand huh? 

Cons; it's no deeper than the material and physical. (Now this can be a perk depending on who you ask) You only spend time when he's tryna spend or be seen with you.. He doesn't have any intention of being with you, unless he's trying to make an impression on others with a fine piece of candy by his side, like yourself. He doesn't want you to be with anyone else because he's leasing you.. And you sort of belong to him, in his eyes of course. So now you got the makings of a great picture but there's no story. He gives you the pictures but never any words. And by the time you realize this is nothing more than a showcase you're in too deep. And sometimes you realize this after you've been replaced and are looking at the pedestal you once called home from the sidewalk. 

The Mental Pedestal* — very rare due to the fact most women aren't mentally appealing to men. But when a man finds that woman who sparks a mental erection, they put her on the highest pedestal. They value her opinion, thoughts, ideas even suggestions. They are intrigued by her thought process and love to discuss an endless amount of topics. These women on this type of pedestal are what every man craves but has such a hard time finding.. So when they do they go above and beyond to remind you how worthy you really are. 

Perks; for a man look beyond your physique no matter how appealing it might be and find your mind even more appealing is a beautiful feeling. To be infatuated with what you think and how you feel is super rare, a blessing indeed. The biggest perk being on this pedestal is the fact that in exploring your mind, he learns you and he uses his knowledge to earn his way to your heart. Thoughtfulness comes naturally when who you're dealing with, takes his time to listen to your thoughts and dreams and his actions co sign every word he speaks. 

Cons; there is only one downside to this pedestal. Is the man who's so evil he plays this game so well, pretending to want to learn you to be a better companion to you; when in reality he just wants to ruin you. Destroy what you have, so you won't become who you're meant to be. Get in your mind, and it starts out like a good mind fuck.. And you're zoning.. And then, you realize he's raping you, he's not touching you in the places he said.. he's all the way over here when you said he can only be there. He's too rough now, his caress is now so aggressive. All while he whisper baby it's okay. These type of men are alive and well, you have to be very cautious. Fucking with the mind worse than fucking with the body.. The body will heal, the mind might never. Be wary of these DEmental men. They're no good. 

The Sexual Pedestal — Men are very sexual.. So of course a woman who has sexual intelligence is placed on a pedestal. Know how to ride, spin around and keep the dick still inside? Get your ass on that pedestal. Know how to take him high and drop it low once you get a hold of that pole (that pedestal has a pole and other kinky shit surrounding it.) there's equal negative and positive in this pedestal. But a pedestal nonetheless. 

Perks; if the man who places you on this sexual pedestal is your man, you don't really have to worry about him straying.. And having someone who praises you sexually is seductive as shit.. Especially when you're just as turned on by him.

Cons; you may be just that, a sexual object to this man. Sure he praises your arch and ability to "take the D" but it's only then, during those sexual times that he's praising you, and all the conversations are sexual. Every joke is sexual... Whenever he's yearning for your touch, it's sexual. There's nothing more he expect from you. It's just sex, sure you're good at it.. But it's just sex. It's not you it's what you do with your tongue, and how you swirl your hips that you got you that spot on that pedestal. That shouldn't be enough.

The Ultimate Pedestal — the combination of all three pedestals from the pros aspect. Very rare .. In fact when you find yourself on this triple threat pedestal, don't fuck it up. Especially if you put him on the same pedestal he has you on.. a match made in heaven, that earth separated but not even that stopped you two from attaching to each other like magnets. The beauty in this pedestal is that it never feels like a pedestal because he's right by your side.. Just as high as you. Your regal equal. 

There is no con to this pedestal!  

Women often don't know the difference in pedestals so they settle for any one that's given to them.. Not realizing that it's in a mans nature to put women on a pedestal, the type of pedestal varies, not always for our benefit. it's ultimately on us whether we accept that seat or turn it down. Some women are sca(red) to turn down a seat on a pedestal because she wants to feel worthy, ti(red) of looking in the mirror and feeling worthless. And this is a huge problem. Mainly because this problem is constantly swept under the rug. A problem that only bring more problems in the long run. What can be done to solve this problem? 

Women have to put themselves on their own pedestal.  

My pedestal. My pedestal is customized for me, I know my worth.. Physical, mental and sexual .. I know a man can't define me. I define me. I have the confidence of a pageant winner, the knowledge of a dirty sinner.. So much food for thought I can host big dinners. And I know this, and no pedestal I'm put on can amount to my own. I set my standards based on my potential. All that I know I can be. All I know I am. Not every man that shows interest is worthy, of my time, my mind, my pussy.. I have no problem turning men down and their pedestal offers, I know what's best for me.. And alot of these offers aren't it. I'm more beneficial to them than they are to me.. In so many aspects. They see that, and more which is why the offers often sound like bait traps. Once you realize everything you can add to the table, you not just gonna sit at any table. No matter who pulling the seat out for you to sit. My pedestal keeps me levitated above these women who lack their own pedestal. Men see this. Real men admire this.. They want to be apart of this.

Some men are eager to build pedestals for women who lack it, (the urge to put women on pedestals is inevitable) but when they cross one who comes with her own.. They realize how much better it is to help maintain that pedestal, while bettering their own.. shit, even helping that pedestal grow into the throne it will ultimately become.

Putting yourself on a pedestal isn't in vain, it's for the betterment of you as a woman. If you allow these men to define you with their placement of you on their pedestals, your entire life is spent being picked up and put down from pedestal to pedestal, this will only confuse you and your view of who you are, how much your worth. But if you have your own pedestal, when a man places you on his, it will say more about him than you. And what it says about him will be the deciding factor on whether you want to pursue this further or drop everything and go. But only once you've built your own pedestal can you see the distinction in your pedestal and his version for you. You can be placed up high and walk off when you please.. Never feeling any less than who you are because his pedestal didn't define you, it was just a seat. 

Feel free to take a seat, just be aware of where you're sitting.

Images of women; Women w|o Men.

A woman without a man means two things in today's society:
She's a lesbian.
She's damaged goods & no man wants her.

- I think it's pretty humorous to me that if you're an 'attractive' woman with everything going for herself and you don't have a man; there's something wrong with you. Like you're mentally unstable or super psychotic. And that may be the case with some women but not all.

Some women realistically just doesn't have the time it takes to invest in a healthy relationship, some rather compatibility over convenience (which we all should), some are just really focused on bettering themselves.

Why does it throw people off when a woman is without a man? In today's society, honestly .. We don't really need a man. We can make our own money, build our own shit, make ourselves cum(sex toys) and even have a baby (sperm bank) without the presence of a real man. Yet, we're looked at as if we're incomplete if we have no man.

Granted back in the day, you couldn't see a woman without a man by her side. In fact, some parts of the world today; a woman can't be out in public unless accompanied by a man. A mans role is very dominant in a woman's life, but it isn't requi(red) in today's society.

Especially with how the image of a man is today. Due to the lack of father figures in the last few generations and the increase in this absence as time went on.. Most men today have no clue on how to be a man. Alot of men have bitch tendencies. Now, I said father figure. Just because your actual father wasn't around doesn't mean you went without experiencing a father figure in someone else. Father is one who raised you, not who made you. And most REAL men if they didn't have a father, definitely had a father figure. They saw what a real man supposed to be. And the bitch men were too bitter to allow the father role to be filled by someone else. So they never really had an idea of what a real man is. So they grew with this hate in their heart and lashed it out on the women in their lives leaving a trail of scorned and batte(red) women usually with a child or two, if a son doomed to his same fate, if a daughter even worse. So I don't have statistics but I'd 45% of men are Real men at this rate ... But that can always change. Men can always better themselves and be a real man. But that's on them.

That being said, as a woman who knows what she wants out of life and refuses to be destroyed at the hands of a boy who's trapped in a man's body.. If you studied the male species as they cross your path whether directly or indirectly, why wouldn't you know what you don't choose to tolerate? Why would things catch you off guard if you really knew this man to begin with? Why couldn't you recognize those familiar traits early on? Traits of a man vs a boy, don't let the body fool you. Tap into that soul girl. Alot of men look good, got his own thing going on.. you feeling his vibe, but how mature is he when it matters? Alot of women fear being alone because society has tainted the image of women without men, so they settle with illusions of a man. The bitch nigga.

I feel as women we do get excited with visuals.. We love diamonds, pearls, the sparkles, glitter. So a man that's giving off the illusion that's extremely appealing to your liking.. your emotions go into overload and you ready to bare his child, cause aint no way you using a condom with him.. you wanna feeeel him, huh? Lmfao some will be satisfied with just the illusion.

Some, like myself.. Likes to dig a little deeper.. To see if his illusion is a reflection of his delusion or just a reflection of his soul. That's when I'm truly sold. Honestly., I am very aware of how deceiving the illusion is, but the soul doesn't lie. And I can't be content with a man by my side if we're not connected on all levels. And especially the soul.. If I tap into it and see I don't like your core, you as good as gone. It doesn't matter what you look like, what you have, what you can do for me..if we can't get in tuned .. It's not gonna work.

Now. That's me, that's why I'm not in a relationship at this point in time. I feel it's more than sex and convenience, and how beneficial it might be for either party. It's a waste of time to me. I can't put that effort towards something I don't see going anywhere. And I don't feel the need to just to avoid being alone. It's not that serious. You do need YOU time between 'relationships' to make sure you good. Like really good. Now, I won't lie sometimes I get lonely.. I have needs too. :( but not just anyone is good enough.. And I've done the whole friends with benefit type relationships in the past which is still kinda single, I guess. Lol. But I do go through periods of 'celibacy' .. If anything I feel when I get laid, its by accident lmfao that's not the point. The point is despite the fact that I could be involved with someone, I choose not to. I like to figure out how men I'm attracted to tick, so I can always know what time it is.. And if we're in different time zones.. I let go. I don't force things, I'm not desperate. I have my own shit I have going on and majority of my mind is there .. So for me to devote time and effort, we have to be on the same time. And I won't let you slow me down nor will I slow you down either.

I feel as women, we set the standards. Men do what we allow. And you gotta ask yourself what does what I allow from him say about me? I set standards for myself so I expect the same from a man but I lead by example. The mirror effect. Your man is a real man when he helps you grow, bettering you because you do the same, you set the standard.. If its in fact the opposite, you're with a boy. And that's not gonna work unless you a little girl. In that case, y'all gonna be kids forever. As a woman, a real woman you should be able to stand strong without a man, if you can't when a man do come around .. He's your crutch. Do you want a crutch? Or do you want to stand just as tall as him?

A real man isn't intimidated by a woman who can do without a man. Only a bitch man will feel threatened by your ability to hold your own without the assistance of a man. He feels threatened because he feels that's his outlet to control you. Men who want to control women who can't do for themselves because the more these men do, the more indebted these women become. And these women who become these.. slaves for these type of men, the fear of being alone keeps them from running away. From breaking free from those chains these men have such a tight grip on, the fear doesn't allow them to recognize this isn't healthy. He isn't a man. I am slowly dying on the inside. Instead fear screams you're washed, nobody wants you, you're gonna die alone. The next man gonna do the same exact thing why start over? ... It's fucking tragic. And I hope these women leave before its too late. But again that's on them.

I am thankful I'm not one of those women who lives in fear, fear of how society may view me.. Especially fearing being alone. And it's probably because I know I won't be alone my whole life. C'mon now. I'm awesome, who wouldn't love me? (Ego talk) lmao ^-^ no but seriously, it's okay to be without a man, use that time no matter how long or short it might be to better you, better your life and the right guy will cross your path when the time is right. Being alone isn't the worst thing in the world. Feeling alone when you're with someone is way worse.

In my opinion.

Images of women; The Sex Object.

I was walking down the street.. And in a range of 3 blocks, I passed a good 20 men. I had to laugh when the men traffic passed.. its funny to me how they ALL made googly eyes, bit their lips.. even mutte(red) a word or two despite my visible headphones in my ears. One of the last men passing saw me laughing and smirking .. he said yeah girl they feeling you.. Don't even get me started on the harassment I've endu(red) since I hit puberty. But apparently I'm sexually attractive.

I don't think every man that sees me is attracted to me.. Do majority wanna fuck me? Maybe.. If they give me that eye, I know for certain. That looks solidifies that in that moment, I became the sexual object of the beholder eyes.

The Sexual object.

I don't consider myself sexy. Or an object. Actually, it kinda irks me when guys call me that. I don't make a big fuss about it like I do when you add an H in my name, but I cringe at the sound of it. Despite my lack of self-sexiness. Guys seem to really think I am. The remarks that I've heard.. The change in their movements at the sight of my presence... If I were to go by how majority of men that I come in contact with (non family/friend related) act, I would think I'm Top 100 sexiest, number 1 spot for Maxim.. Lmfao.
But I don't. No amount of attention could give me a big head. Most of the attention is sexual anyway. I do fine with out. It's kinda annoying after while.. compliments start to sound repetitive, despite the change in voices.. Let me not digress.

I wouldn't say men degrade women, over exploit.. Maybe a better fit. But straight men love them some women. They see us as their magic machine. Sexual beast, child bearer, chef and maid all in one. Sexual beast is definitely what they scout for first.. Now a days. I guess anybody can make a great wife but not many can make a great freak. Or you gotta find the right freak for you.

We live in a world that's run by sex.

Some people put those who they're sexually connected with above those that aren't sexually connected with them.
I won't even get into that.

Men that cheat, have these sexual urges they can't seem to get fulfilled at home. Maybe they do, and are just greedy. But 9/10 men cheat because their women are planking during backshots. Alot of wives lose their sexual object luster they once owned and their men stray because of it. Not blaming the woman, but these are real factors.

The only time you should become a sexual object .. Is during sexual intercourse, own that inner sexual goddess buried within.. hidden under all that class. You and your man deserve it.

In a professional setting you have to be more than the sex object. You have to stand on your two feet and prove to every man in that setting that you are more than a pretty face, more than a beautiful body. Your words deserve more thought than how quick your underwear comes off, is she even wearing underwear? shouldn't be the only question a man thinks after you're done speaking. (Unless he's a dickhead who doesn't listen to women when they speak because in his eyes, we're not equals.. Fuck that guy. Not literally of course). You should be able to seduce the shit out of a crowd with your words, that's sexy as shit... It's more than just your looks. Your looks are a plus.

In today's society, women are now more than ever nothing but sex objects. Mainly due to the fact half of these men don't care what we have to say, but spend hours stalking our instagrams and sexually hounding us in person. Women who use their sex appeal and brand it to break bread are well respected. I know it's not easy. It's a world where some men are so loose with their mouth with what they want to do with yours. In a world, where in the wrong place, at the wrong time; you might get felt up on and never know who was touching you. The comments from men who will never see you in real life, professing how they'll eat that ass from the back no strings attached. Men who view you as a sex object and solely that.. Same men who get upset when you're not that sex object they portrayed you out to be. And then there's the women who are exactly that.. And nothing more. Who keep proving these men and their ridiculous views (to us women beyond the sex object) of women. How can we really blame them, our own are feeding their ammunition.

A perfect video to illustrates the sex object would be Bitch Bad by Lupe Fiasco. That video was beautifully directed. And captu(red) the true essence of today's society and especially the women's role as a sexual object.

Some women, were born sex objects.. Their entire lives they've received attention due to pre-puberty growth or overly complimented on how pretty they were. They allowed these outside opinions consume them, so they made sure they became what they wanted to keep hearing everyday. Not even sure why did the approval of strangers made them feel so good.. So shallow, sca(red) to dig deep. So miss bad bitch at the age of 16 strutting her stuff and entertaining anyone who pays her mind.. She ain't have a mind of her own. And boom 5 years later.. 21 pregnant with baby #2 baby #1 hasn't seen mommy in a week.. But see grandma everyday. Daddy who? Mommy still a bad bitch though .. Although no one else think so. Anymore. She's lost.

Some women become sex objects..
Plain Jane, ugly duckling.. Weirdo. Whatever the reason. This girl didn't get sexual attention, so instead she focused on herself... From the inside. She knows hobbies, dreams, goals .. Everything she ever wanna own. Learning everything she wanna know. And that girl is usually so beautiful within, that her outer appearance radiates because of this. If the girl was pretty, now she's beautiful. If she was beautiful, she's now gorgeous. And it's something sexually enticing about a woman who knows exactly who she is and where's she's going .. I was once told. By a man.

As a woman, I feel you can viewed a sex object in a positive way, or a negative way. Depending on your mind frame and how you carry yourself. Depending on your goals .. You can either drown in the sex object role .. Or prosper from it and become bigger than the sex object and become a Goddess in everything you do.

"A goddess is a woman who emerges from deep within herself. She has honestly explored her darkness & learned to celebrate her light." - Unknown.

Images of women; The Wife.

I'm not married. I don't know if I'll ever get married. Not because I don't think I'll find love or am not worthy of proposal, but because I don't know what life has in store for me, I can't rule anything out. But I've thought about it. I'd be lying if I said I haven't mentally thought out an imaginary wedding or two. Lol I even know who I'd get to design my wedding dress, if I were to get married and the designer still alive. Marriage is serious to me. The concept of marriage rather..

The union of two people who make the conscious decision to stand before their god's place of worship and become one. One life from here on out, through up and down, thick and thin. We're gonna ride it out til the last stop: the cemetery .. And maybe the after life. Love is our driver, trust and lust are also passengers. That's fucking deep.

I wonder how many more marriages would've worked if divorce was never an option? ..

What people done to the image of marriage is honestly a disgrace.
Married for the wrong reasons.
Not understanding the concept of the union of marriage.
Half of the people who get married get divorced.
50%.
Half of y'all get it right..
or just hold it down, silent but miserably.

What goes wrong? I always wonder. How could you have been so sure at the alter but a few months, years later you want to call it quits? What happened? Infidelity, trust issues, financial issues, insecurities, realizing you have no idea who the fuck you ended up with are all possible scenarios. And there's probably a million more, like I said I'm not married, not divorced so idk. But I noticed something.. People forget their roles, or don't allow their spouse to play their role.

The wife role.
Whether you're legally married or just married by love you become a wife to your husband. You're united as one. Team effort. Co defendant. Best friend. Everything. Atleast that's how I see it. See, back in the day... You were assigned a husband, then you learned to love him. And many many women did. I've spoken to women who were wed through arranged marriage and many said they weren't initially in love with their husbands but as time progressed they grew to love them.. So if they can make it work, why can't us women, in today's society where we can find who we love, and then get married make it work? Maybe because divorce is an option. I personally, feel if I put your ring on my finger .. You're gonna have to pry it off my bones after you dig my grave up. Only because I feel divorce is for people who weren't aware of what they signed up for and they don't want any part in trying to fix it. Fuck that. We're done. I'm ready to sign them paperssss (usher voice lol).

Maybe I'm bugging for not considering divorce and maybe, my opinion will change as I get older. But I really won't marry anyone that I don't genuinely consider spending the rest of my life with. That type of commitment means to me, I'm so in love with you, I'm willing to let you take the wheel every now and then, I trust you with my life and I handle yours with care. I don't have eyes for anyone else but you. Everything I do, is done with you in mind, considering your feelings. Including you in every aspect of my life you may find interesting as I will do the same to you. Respectful enough to give you your space as you do mine. Everything is done 50/50. I let you be the man and have no problem being your backbone making sure you straight.

See the role of the wife has been distorted. I can admit the way some men have abused and taken the wife for granted has certainly has alte(red) our mindset.. The days where women slaved for her man and was happy with him just eating dinner on time are over. Now women want more, they want power. Ti(red) of feeling useless from being used. And that's understandable. But remember who you're with.

And remember the Triple Cs; Compromise. Communication. And Consummation. All three are key.
Nobody's a mind reader, you can't always have your way .. And your man wants to get laid. Stop playing.

Don't get lazy. You're his wife. Be his wife. Don't strive to be the trophy, be his gold medal.. Trophy gets dusted and touched when company around.. Stays on the shelf for admiration.. Boring but beautiful. The gold medal, hangs around his neck proudly tapping against his chest close to his heart, kept protected underneath jackets. So special only gets flaunted on occasion. May sound dumb to some, but you gotta be a little different to understand my metaphors.

Anywho, once you accept the role as a wife you have obligations to fulfill. Not because you have too. But because you want too, as his wife you want to see him happy. I mean if not? Why would you be with him? There's no such thing as being selfish in a fully committed relationship. If you are, you're not fully committed. I think that's where some women fuck up, they're still selfish.. Gotta take care of me cause if I don't who will? Umm you're husband. Duh. The purpose of you taking well care of him is because he takes such great care of you. And if he isn't. Sweetie, that's not your man. Don't be the woman playing the wife role to a guy who isn't worthy of you.

Just because you wanna play the role doesn't mean you have to play it for any guy giving you attention or you're deeply infatuated with his potential. That's alot to invest in, don't waste your time. And also pace yourself.. You wanna reel a man in or keep it fresh with your spouse do spontaneous things in doses. Every now and then never hurts. Never give too much but just enough to have him wanting more. That's all. A man just wants to feel like there's more to you. He feels he knows all there's to know about you.. Bo(red)om soon come. Yawnnnnn.

I won't speak on how to handle specific problems like infidelity in marriage/commitment, every cases varies.. And I'm not like everyone else. But if you as a wife, stay after infidelity you gotta let it go. Move forward. Harboring the ghost of his mistakes in your home will never make it right, if anything it will ruin whatever you had left of your relationship. If you truly can't let go.. Just leave. If not. Stfu. And moveeeeeee onnnnnn.

Fuck conventional. Marriages and the wife role. Don't do what everyone else do. What works for them, may not always work for you. You know your man, he married/committed to you for a reason. Don't feel like you have to become this different person because you're married now. As you and your spouse grow, you should always try to keep the spark that got you both started in the first place lit. Keep them fireworks sparkling baby girl. Being his wife should always make you proud and you should always be happy or smiling, even when he's annoying you.. Or you're going through something and he's making you laugh knowing shit is real, but it's just what you need to lighten up a little bit; as moments like that will remind you why you married/committed to this person.

A happy wife is a happy life. As long as your man is making you feel like the only girl in the world you should always make him feel like the king he is. If he isn't, it's your job as his queen to let him know he's slipping. Don't let it build up.. Address it with thought and patience. Don't expect change over night. It's not always gonna be sunny days, on the rainy days you should still be happy you're stuck in the rain with him. And just knowing that you're together through the storm makes the sunny days that much more sunnier. Lol I'm corny? Blah. You get the point.

There's no question about the submissiveness of a wife, you should have no objection to this because your man should make you feel so great that you won't even realize you've submitted, the transition was so natural. You both love each other dearly and are both willing to play the roles needed to secure your happiness. The trust is there most importantly.

Our roles as wives are more powerful than we think. It's more psychological than anything. Men need that nurture and care that wives provide. They've already got the obligations of being a man and everything that entitles that. Their tough personas needs that female gentle touch. They can achieve much more with a great woman behind them. Pushing them, encouraging them. Rubbing their back and telling them it's okay when they've had a bad day. Making their favorite dinner after they've accomplished a goal they've been so excited about. Following up on things they've expressed interests in, showing them you care as much as they care about our interests and projects. It's really common sense. But most women try to force these things with the wrong men instead of waiting for the willing instead of the stubborn. Don't ever try to change a man, rather help him grow to be a better man because he makes you a better woman. It sounds easy.. But everything is easier said than done. When it's all said and done, every woman has the potential to be an amazing wife to the right man.

And to those who feel they've played the role time and time again to no avail.. Don't let that bring you down. Those other men were just practice lol the right man is out there. Looking for someone just like you.. And you have no idea. Life is funny like that.

Images of women; The Mother.

Back in the day, Wayyyy back. You were a wife first .. Then came motherhood. You couldn't be a mother without being a wife. And should a woman bare a child with no husband she was looked at as a whore. A Jezebel, out casted by her family and friends. How dare you bring a child into this world without being married. What were you doing fucking and you're not married? .. That was then.

Now, 2013 there are way more mothers than there are wives. Sad but true. I only say sad because as little girls, you wished marriage and family .. Not raising kids alone. But times have changed..

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, Out of 12.2 million single parent families in 2012, more than 80% were headed by single mothers.

A mother is one who nurtures, loves and guide her offsprings into life.. A mother's job is never done. No matter how old your kids are, you're their mother. Now I'm not a mother.. Yet. But being a female and having been raised by my mother, seeing mothers throughout my life; I have a certain standards I place on mothers. How I feel mothers should be. How I feel I'm going to be when I'm a mother. There's no exact right or wrong way to raise a child.. Well there are wrong ways. But you know what I mean.

I feel some women have babies for the wrong reasons, some to be spiteful, some because they want to prove they can when deep inside they know they can't, some because they feel they've reached their limit at the chop shop (abortion clinic). Whatever the reason may be, once the child is born.. Shit is real. And many do it on their own. Some struggle, some don't. Depending on how much help is given to them.

The father plays a huge part whether or not one wants to acknowledge it. If our creator really wanted us to raise kids alone we'd be asexual. I don't think anyone should raise a child alone. I mean if you have to, then you have too but I think kids are a handful and having both parents equally playing their part in a positive way really is key.

I'm ti(red) of hearing about these "ain't shit niggas" and how many deadbeats are around. But that's the mothers fault. Why? "Omg how can you say that" fuck that. It is. I'm not laying down and allowing a man who I think isn't worth shit fuck me.. let alone raw, why are you settling for these ain't shit niggas anyway? Why would you play pregnant roulette with a man who you can't even get to commit to you? You know he ain't shit. You know he's no good but yet your simple ass laid down and took all his kids inside you and yelled recess... Now, to be fair some women get conned. Their man plays this perfect role for them and once they announce their pregnant they see the perfect man illusion they had crumble and see him for who he really is, by then it's too late. I understand. Shit happens. Do better research on your men ladies. You don't want to be that woman. Find the man that will be the best father ever not the man who you think you love and he doesn't even like kids. Don't play yourself, pick your plays and play it right.

But the kid is here now. And I see too many girls with babies. I say girls because women handle their responsibilities and girls with babies don't, they push their kids on their family abusing the help that's offe(red) to them. Some of them only kept the baby so the father could stay and now that he didn't.. They don't want anything to do with the baby. But of course you won't know any of this because all the social networks show something different (some bitches spend more time taking pictures with their kids than they actually do raising them.) the mothers are getting younger and younger and the grandparents become the parents. And that's not right. Bitches out here running wild chasing niggas down, partying it up and they can't even tell you what did their child learn from school. Shit some of them don't even teach their kids how to read or write, or speak properly or manners. It's sickening. For that you should've just gotten an abortion or conside(red) adoption. I don't get how people don't believe in abortions or shit like that but they don't believe in condoms or birth control either. Some just askin to get pregnant.

To me, once you become a mother you gotta alter your life. It was once about you, but now it's your kid THEN you. Your child should always be your first priority. You have to accommodate your lifestyle to fit your child's needs. Your job isn't to raise them til they're 18 and push them out the door hoping they can fly. Nope. Your job is to prepare them for the real world but allow them to explore things on their own, while you stand aside and step in when you feel they're slipping. That's very different from hovering or smothering. You have to give your child space, space to grow. Your role as a mother plays a big factor in how they grow up. To ensure they are well prepa(red) for the real world is all that should concern you. Despite parents wanting their kids to stay babies forever, they don't. They become adults. You have to help them transition into that. I know the world is scary but sheltering your children isn't the answer. I've seen many people product of shelte(red) environments, its like throwing a baby deer into a cage full of wolves. It's a balance that has to be maste(red) and with each mother-child it varies. But as long as you know your kids as well as you know yourself (hoping you know yourself well) you should be fine.

My mother. I love her to death. I love her so much I don't speak ill of her to anybody but her. Me and her have a different kind of relationship. She may have made mistakes, some in which I've paid for. And despite all her flaws I can never take away that she's my mother. And she's always been my mother. She raised me and my siblings mostly by herself (step-dad got deported when I was 10). She never complained about it she just did what she had to do. I thank her for her life lessons. I really am the way I am today because she always encouraged my curiosity and fed my mind. She taught me how to read or write before I even was enrolled in school. There's so much I thank her for and there's things I hate her for. I wrote her a letter. Won't disclose the details but she read it today and the conversation held after that, is the main reason I love her.

I can wait for motherhood. I'm in no rush. I want to be fully committed to starting a family when I have kids. I am looking forward to that experience though, maybe I'll write my mother another letter.. I heard you understand your mom better when you become one yourself. There's certain things I want to embed in my kids, certain ways I want to raise them.. Things I want to do with them. Everything I wish I ever knew as a kid, my kids will know. They will be twice, if not three times the person I am. Motherhood is a blessing. Despite how you got there or how it happened. It's certainly a blessing to bring life into this world and be apart of raising and co creating a life that will change the world. God bless the mothers of today and the future mothers.

Here's a link for mothers or mothers to be;
Thanks Forbes,

Money lessons for your kids: What they should know by age 5,10 &15 http://t.co/baSNDnrb2k

Images of women.

Through out time the images of how a woman should be, act, speak has evolved. We know what it used to be, but what has it become? what will we be as time progresses.

When I did attend college, one semester i took up Women in literature, great class. I learned alot about how us women are percieved by others on a larger scale and how that affects who we become, who we are. The every day expectations and obligations put on us to be women, but there are so many different opinions on what makes you a woman, and to act accordingly. But according to who? Ourselves, men, the public, our children? All of the above?

As a young woman, who is currently still evolving into the woman I'm meant to be, I glance around at my "peers" and damn. It's a sad sight. Alot of females in my age bracket have lost complete sight for what a woman is, how she should carry herself, what she should stand for.. Bitches these days don't know what they standing for they just heard YASSSSS and had to stand up and follow suit. They have no morals, or standards. They're chameleons with men, changing who they are with each new man that enter their lives. Whatever it's their lives, who am I to say they're living wrong?
That's not what I want to discuss.

I want to do a series of posts following the image of a woman. Of course it would be my image, how I see it fit. See in my women in Literature class, the text book was; images of women in literature, fifth edition to be exact. It's a bunch of poems, stories of women writers about woman roles. And it's really good. So good, I kept the book. I often re-read stories every now and then.
The book is broken down like this.

Images of women;
The wife.
The mother.
Woman on a pedestal.
The Sex Object.
Women without men.
II -The women becoming.

For my own observational pleasure I want to add - Women today.

Stay tuned.